


And the skyscrapers were like mountains

by Tamburlaine



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animorphs AU, Fake Science, Guns, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious San, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Unresolved Tension, of all kinds - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:48:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamburlaine/pseuds/Tamburlaine
Summary: San is in college to get a degree, not to make friends.San just doesn't want to be left again.San is an independent man who doesn't need anyone else.or, San and the people at his roommate's party accidentally get the power to turn into animals. Focusing on his studies is hard when he suddenly has a bunch of new friends, a science institution looking for them, and Wooyoung on his mind, and staying detached is even harder.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 81
Kudos: 154





	1. Chapter 1

The science would have been incomprehensible to San even if he hadn’t been hungover. They’d been lead around the institute for what felt like an eternity, past white walls and glass doors identical on every floor. Their guide, a cheerful young woman in a pantsuit, had been talking the whole time. Dragging his feet at the back of the group, San could tune her out and focus on staying awake.

Jongho showed him no mercy, snickering every time he yawned.

“Is this ever going to end?” San muttered under his breath. He regretted even showing up. It had been warm under the covers and the girl he’d spent the night with would probably have made him breakfast, but his ringtone had been loud and Jongho’s voice jarring when he reminded San of the excursion. San hadn’t even had the time to grab a coffee on the way.

“I don’t know, I haven’t been paying attention. I think we’re almost done.”

They were in a hallway with no windows. The bright fluorescent lights in the ceiling irritated San’s eyes. Overall, the sharp, disinfected vibe of the institute made San feel uncomfortable. All the employees they’d seen were dressed in either white lab coats or sharp suits, a sharp contrast to the now-wrinkled shirt San had put on yesterday and his heavy boots that could use a cleaning.

They stopped in front of a locked door, and the guide’s voice carried over the whole group of college students as they gathered around her. “Make sure not to touch anything once we go through into the lab. People will be working so keep your voices down.” She punched in a code to open the door and lead the way through.

“Any hope they’re making coffee in this lab?” San muttered, glancing around the long, white room before looking back down at his feet. Researchers walked between the steel tables and the large machines, not paying any attention to the group of college students gawking at them.

“Hyung, stop whining. We’ll be out of here in half an hour.”

San would have punched Jongho on the shoulder, but they’d been told to behave. “How are you so cheerful, anyway? I’m pretty sure you drank more than I did.”

“Yeah, well”, Jongho said with a smug grin. “I didn’t leave for a private afterparty from the club. And I stole Mingi’s Red Bull from the fridge.”

“Poor Mingi.”

“Speaking of roommates, isn’t that yours?” Jongho pointed at Yunho, dressed in a white lab coat and overseeing a whirring machine in the corner. “Let’s go say hi.”

San followed Jongho away from the guide and their group, none of whom paid them any attention, focused on a large monitor. If he had been alone, he would have stayed with the group. He had shared an apartment with Yunho since the beginning of the semester, for a month or so already, but they had never hung out outside of their shared living room despite Yunho’s efforts.

“Hi”, Yunho said pleasantly. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting easy credits and checking out future career possibilities. I’m Jongho. I don’t know if you remember me but we shared a couple of chemistry courses last year.”

“I remember.” Yunho’s eyes shifted from Jongho’s wide smile to San. “You must have come back late last night.”

“I didn’t”, San replied and looked down at the whirring machine. Yunho seemed nice: he labeled his food in their fridge and kept his shouting down when he played on the computer after midnight. If San had been looking for friends, he might have given Yunho a chance. “What’s this?”

“A centrifuge. It separates particles by density by—”

“What are you doing here anyway? Do you work here?”

Yunho didn’t seem to mind being interrupted. “Paid internship. I started last summer. Hopefully, I’ll get an actual job here once I graduate.”

“That’s cool. You’re a biochem major, right?” Jongho asked. Yunho nodded just as the machine beeped. “What do they do here?”

“I thought you’re here with a guide.”

“We are”, Jongho replied with a grin. “We just haven’t been paying attention.”

Yunho chuckled, focused on picking out the tubes from the centrifuge and placing them into a rack. The liquid inside was colorless, muddier at the bottom and clear at the top. “We research protein molecules, for the most part.”

“So like for protein shakes?” San asked.

“More like trying to genetically engineer new proteins for medical solutions.”

“You’re trying to cure Alzheimer’s or something?”

Yunho shrugged and picked up the rack. “I don’t know the details; I’m just an intern. But I could show you the stuff we’ve got in the other lab while I take these to the fridge. If you can get away from your tour.”

San glanced back at the group. They’d moved further into the room and were taking turns looking through a microscope. The guide was occupied making sure they didn’t touch anything, eyes firmly on the microscope.

“Let’s go.”

Yunho flashed the keycard he had hanging around his neck against a screen next to a door to the side and pushed the door open with his shoulder, careful to not drop the test tube rack. The room they entered was much like the one they’d left, though there were no researchers pretending to work for the benefit of visiting college students. The back wall was lined with tall fridges and freezers with glass doors, filled with rows upon rows of test tubes and vials.

“Why didn’t they show us this?” Jongho said, hurried up to the glass doors and pressed his nose against one of them. “This is so cool. One of these and I would have my final research paper practically done.”

San didn’t get it. Jongho was a chemistry major, mostly because he’d been fascinated with blowing things up in high school. The charts and labels on the tubes probably meant something to him; to San, it might as well have been alien code.

“If you started trying to deconstruct the solution now you might get it done by the time you’re supposed to graduate.” Yunho pushed the tray inside one of the fridges. “Depends on how quickly you write, I guess.”

“With Mingi’s Red Bulls, I’d write the damned thing in a week”, Jongho said. “Shit, maybe I should’ve been paying attention today.”

San snorted and pulled open one of the doors. The vials in the fridge were filled with a blue liquid. San picked one up, turned it around to read the label, and put it back when he couldn’t make sense of it, reaching for another instead.

“You shouldn’t touch, San-ah”, Yunho said, “This is all confidential. Just letting you inside could get me in trouble.”

Jongho laughed. “Who knew you were a badass?”

“I didn’t”, San said, then waited for Yunho to turn his back before dropping the vial into his pocket. Jongho liked to pretend that he was a rebel, but in reality, he was mostly bark with very little bite. He’d never steal the vial himself even if it could help him graduate with honors. Besides, the institute had hundreds of vials and test tubes. They probably wouldn’t even notice if one went missing.

“I’ve got my moments”, Yunho said, “but seriously, let’s go before anyone finds us. The others can’t have made it far.”

“Or you could just show us to the cafeteria”, San said as he fell into step with Yunho. “I’d kill for a coffee.”

“Just say you got lost or something if anyone asks”, Yunho said and headed to another door. With a swipe of his key card, he let them through into a hallway and took them to a lobby with elevators. He pressed the call button. “The cafeteria’s on the second floor.”

“Okay”, Jongho said with, “thanks for the tour, hyung. Hyung’s okay, right?”

“Sure. No problem, Jongho-yah.” The elevator arrived with a bright ding. “San-ah, I’m inviting some friends over today. It’s Friday and all so we thought we’d drink and play cards or something.”

“Alright.” San stepped inside the elevator, but Yunho held it open.

“You can join us if you want. I don’t think we’ll be able to keep quiet, honestly. You could even invite some of your friends?”

Before San could say anything, Jongho spoke up. “I’d love a party! I’ll be there.”

“I guess I’ll see you both tonight.” With one last smile, Yunho stepped back and let the doors close. The elevator had barely jerked downwards when Jongho punched San on the arm.

“You lying ass. You told us Yunho is lame.”

“He’s a biochem major”, San protested and rubbed his arm, “of course he’s lame.”

“Hyung, you’re a business major. That’s not any cooler.”

“It objectively is.”

“Is not.”

“Stop arguing with me, it’s making my headache worse”, San groaned, but he couldn’t quite hide his smile.

“We’ll fix that with another party tonight. I’ll get Mingi to come too. He’ll probably forgive me for the Red Bull if I buy him a beer. I wonder who Yunho’s friends are?”

“I hope they aren’t all nerds like you two”, San teased. They got off the elevator and walked through another lobby to the cafeteria. The windows let in the grey light of the rainy day. People were spread out around the tables, low-voiced discussions and the clatter of cutlery steady underneath the high ceiling.

“Nothing wrong with being a nerd”, Jongho shot back. “You could use more nerds in your life. Or just friends, generally. Mingi and I can only get you so far.”

“I’ve made it so far  _ despite  _ you two hanging on”, San said and pushed his hands into his pockets as they stopped at the end of the line. His fingers wrapped around the vial. “Actually, I need to use the bathroom. Get me a black coffee.”

In the bathroom, San locked himself inside a stall and pulled the vial out. The liquid was bright blue, clear even in the dim light of the bathroom. For the first time, San was grateful he’d arrived in the same outfit he had worn to the club last night. His flask was still in his breast pocket, empty but smelling of whiskey. He twisted the cap off the vial and poured the liquid into the flask, then dropped the vial into a trashcan and hid the flask back in his breast pocket.

Jongho would owe him for the rest of his life for this.

After a two-hour nap, San felt alive again. He was actually looking forward to spending the night with Jongho and Mingi and whoever Yunho’s friends were. Maybe one of them was cute enough to stay the night. San made his bed just in case.

After seven, he began hearing people arrive. He’d been playing with Mingi until the other had logged off to head over, and now he was simply scrolling through the latest posts on Twitter, refreshing the page while he waited for his friends to show up before he joined the strangers chatting in their shared living room.

It wasn’t that he disliked people or couldn’t get along with them if he wanted. He just didn’t care to get to know them too well. A party was perfect; a long conversation over drinks not so much. So he waited until Jongho texted him to let him know they were downstairs before he left his room.

Their apartment had two bedrooms, a shared living room with a kitchenette, and a bathroom. Yunho was over by the kitchenette emptying chips into bowls he’d dug out from the top cabinet. There were two boys sitting on the couch, one with a mullet dressed in an outrageous shirt with bell sleeves and a pattern that looked hand-painted, the other with jet black hair slicked back and his shirt buttoned up all the way.

“Hi”, San said and walked to the fridge. The top shelf was full of beer and vodka coolers. San grabbed a bottle and turned around, leaned back against the counter to face their guests.

“San-ah, hi.” Yunho put the bowls onto the table in front of the couch and wiped his palms on his jeans. “Hongjoong-hyung, Seonghwa-hyung, this is my roommate.”

“Nice to finally meet you, San-ssi”, Hongjoong, the one with the bell sleeves, said. He had a sharp smile and small braids in his hair. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus before.”

“He’s studying business, third year”, Yunho said, sat down on the floor and folded his legs underneath himself, then looked up at San. “The hyungs are seniors.”

Hongjoong laughed. “That explains it then. Opposite sides of campus.” San raised his eyebrow in question. “The performing arts building isn’t anywhere near your fancy one.”

“You’re a theater major?”

A loud knock on the door paused the stilted conversation. San pushed himself off the counter and went to open the door, only to be pushed aside by Jongho and Mingi. They sounded like they’d already gotten started on the drinking on the way over, steps loud and voices louder.

“Hi, everybody!” Mingi greeted with a toothy smile and walked right up to the kitchen counter. He dropped the plastic bag he had been carrying onto it before introducing himself to everyone. Jongho followed behind him, laughed excitedly when he recognized Hongjoong, and immediately sat down next to him.

“Hyung, San-hyung! I went with Hongjoong-hyung to acting camp a couple of years ago! You didn’t tell me you knew him!”

San ignored Jongho’s question because Jongho had already turned back to his conversation with Hongjoong. Before he could push the door shut, someone leaned against it from the outside to stop him. The boy on the other side looked vaguely familiar.

“Hi.”

“You’re Yunho’s roommate?” he asked, then frowned. “Didn’t we share an accounting course last year?”

“We did. Choi San.”

“Kang Yeosang. Are you going to let me in?”

“Yeah, sure—”

“Yeosang-ah! Wait!” A boy was running toward them, and he didn’t lower his voice even after he skidded to a stop next to Yeosang. “You’ll not believe—oh, hi.”

The boy was cute. His eyes were wide as he stared at San, whose gaze flickered down to the oversized Chanel cardigan the boy had tucked into his too-tight jeans. San looked back up and leaned against the doorframe, smile on his lips. Yunho should invite his friends over more often if they looked like this.

“Hi. Who are you?”

“Jung Wooyoung.”

“I’m San.”

“I know.”

San raised his eyebrows. “You do?”

“Yeah, I’ve—”, the boy blushed, “I’ve seen you around. On campus.”

“You have?”

“Yeah. We are in the same year.”

“C’mon San”, Yunho put his hand on San’s shoulder, “let them in. Did you bring the coke, Yeosang-ah?”

“Yeah, I did.” Yeosang stepped past San, who backed back into the apartment. He caught Wooyoung’s eyes, but Wooyoung looked away to pull off his ankle boots and put them neatly next to Mingi’s sneakers. After hugging everyone in the room, Wooyoung sat down on the floor. San grabbed his beer and settled on the floor next to him.

“So how do you know Yunho?” San asked. Mingi was loudly arguing with Jongho about the right ratio of coke to whiskey, so San didn’t have to worry about anyone overhearing. Besides, he was just being friendly.

“We went to all the same freshman parties our first year”, Wooyoung said. Yeosang handed him a vodka cooler on his way to the couch, and San couldn’t resist staring when his lips wrapped around the bottle. He could easily imagine them wrapped around something else.

“I used to go to those too”, San said, “but I’ve never seen you around. I know I would remember if I had.”

“Oh?” Wooyoung smiled, a light blush on his cheeks. He shifted, his knee coming to rest on San’s thigh. San hid his smirk by taking a sip of his beer.

Yunho dropped a pack of cards on the table and called for a game that would get them acquainted and drunk. Someone had given Mingi the AUX-cord to the old stereo they had shoved into the corner of the living room, and he put on music too loud for a highrise apartment that nobody bothered to turn down.

They played two rounds and the whole time Wooyoung’s knee stayed pressed against San’s thigh. With a few beers and a couple of shots in him, San felt brave enough to put his hand on the floor behind Wooyoung and put his weight on it, leaning against Wooyoung’s shoulder as he did. Wooyoung didn’t move away, simply glanced at San with a smirk.

They switched to another game, louder and with more drinking, and then Wooyoung stood up to put on music that was better suited for dancing. He dragged Yunho and Seonghwa, whose laughs had become louder the drunker he got, with him to the space between the couch and the door to dance.

San leaned back on his hands, content to watch for now. Wooyoung was laughing, hips swaying to the music as he threw his head back. Jongho sat down next to San, cheeks flushed and grinning.

“So you like the blonde?”

“Is it that obvious?” San sipped his beer.

“It always is.”

“Alright, then”, San said and put the empty bottle on the table and got to his feet. The song playing was a club staple, its lyrics suggestive and bass deep. When San passed the couch, Mingi grabbed him by the arm.

“Do you have anything stronger anywhere? We’re out of vodka.”

“I think there’s some in my room”, San said and continued to Wooyoung. Wooyoung was facing Yunho, didn’t notice San until San put his hands on his hips. “Mind if I join?”

Wooyoung tipped his head back onto San’s shoulder and moved closer. “Not at all.”

They danced through several songs, never letting go or putting an inch between them. San’s grip on Wooyoung’s hips got stronger, more confident as Wooyoung pressed his ass against San’s crotch, and Wooyoung trailed his fingers down San’s neck. It wasn’t until Jongho put on a song that required everyone to sing along that they stopped moving. Wooyoung turned around, sweat glistening on his neck and a satisfied grin on his lips.

“I think I should get something to drink. Thanks for the dance.”

“The pleasure was all mine”, San murmured, reluctant to let go. “Maybe we can continue later.”

Mingi threw his arm over San’s shoulders, bellowing along to the song. The movement threw San off balance, and his hands slipped off Wooyoung’s hips. With the chorus over, Mingi stopped singing and said, “Things are getting too steamy here for a semi-public setting. Have a drink and save this for the bedroom.”

“Thanks”, Wooyoung replied and picked the flask Mingi was waving around from his hands. San was distracted by his throat when he tipped his head back to drink, mind busy imagining his lips leaving wet marks over it. Wooyoung caught San’s stare and licked his lips as he handed the flask back to Mingi.

“Here”, Mingi said and pushed the flask against San’s chest. San took it out of his hand before he could drop it. The flask was nearly empty, and he was forced to tilt his head back to get what was left on the bottom and to his surprise, the drink didn’t make his throat burn.

“What is this?” he asked and licked his lips. “It’s good.” He was about to hand the flask back to Mingi when he realized it was  _ his _ flask. And that he had poured whatever secret protein shakes the institute Yunho worked at into it. And now down his throat.

“I don’t know”, Mingi said with a grin, “but it tastes great. Maybe it’s homebrewed. I thought it was yours?”

“Yeah”, San said and tried to stay calm. It was probably nothing. It hadn’t been anything dangerous. Right? He’d have to check with Yunho. On the other side of the room, Yunho was clutching the backrest trying not to fall off the couch from the force of his laughter.

“Did everyone drink from this?” San asked, then shoved his elbow into Mingi’s side to get his attention and asked again. Mingi shrugged. “Fuck.”

“Why? There wasn’t much in it anyway. Just get a beer from the fridge.”

“No, no, it’s cool. I don’t think I’ll drink anymore tonight anyway. I don’t want another hangover day tomorrow.”

Mingi laughed and stumbled over his feet when he let go of San. “Too late for that, I think.”

Wooyoung laughed and glanced at San before excusing himself to the bathroom. San shook his head and decided to hide the flask for now. He’d have to ask Yunho about the liquid, try to figure out if it was dangerous without revealing that he’d stolen a vial of it  _ and  _ that they’d all emptied it. Hopefully, no one would ever have to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted something to do while i sit at home and wait for the world to start spinning again so... 
> 
> ANYWAY pls leave me a comment if u r here, i need social interactions even if it is only through ao3. i hope this won't disappoint (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)


	2. Chapter 2

The light shining in past the half-open door lit San’s way to his bedside table, and the lamp on it lit the room softly when he turned it on. He could hide the flask in the bedside table drawer then wash it tomorrow to get rid of the evidence. His palms were sweaty. San hoped it was because of the dancing and the alcohol, not the stolen liquid.

“So this is your room?”

San shoved the drawer shut and turned around. Wooyoung was leaning against the door, and the light from the living room disappeared when it clicked shut. He was smiling, cheeks flushed because of the alcohol and eyes glimmering because of the muted light of the bedside lamp. 

“We’re going to a club. Do you want to come?” He said and stepped away from the door, gaze taking in San’s room: the small window that faced the neighboring building, the neat bed, and the messy desk.

Half an hour ago, shit, ten minutes ago, San would have said yes. But after emptying the flask, he wanted to sober up. And now, his heart was beating faster, and he didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or the liquid. He needed to stay at home, get sober so that he would notice if he started feeling weird.

“I want to”, San said, because he did, because Wooyoung looked delectable in those jeans, “but maybe next time.”

Wooyoung glanced at him over his shoulder, fingers trailing over the thick books on his table. He was pouting when he said, “Alright.”

San walked around his bed to be closer to Wooyoung. “Is Yunho going?”

“Yes.” Wooyoung chuckled and turned to face San. “Everyone is except you. I thought you were more fun than this.”

The neckline of Wooyoung’s cardigan hung below his collarbones, and the material was soft when San hooked his fingers under it to tug Wooyoung closer. Wooyoung moved easily, hands coming to rest on San’s shoulders. San didn’t take his eyes off Wooyoung’s lips as he said, “If you stay, I can show you a better ti—”

The door was opened and Yeosang stuck his head through, sharp eyes landing on them and mouth twisting into a frown. “Wooyoung-ah, we are leaving.” He walked off without another word but left the door open. Wooyoung chuckled.

“Maybe next time”, he said and stepped away from San.

“Alright”, San replied with an easy smile, knowing that he’d get another chance if he wanted one. Maybe it was for the better to spend the night alone. “Have fun.”

San woke with a start. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He remembered saying goodbye to everyone, Wooyoung’s smile when he was pushed out the door by Yeosang, Jongho and Mingi’s drunken singing disappearing down the hallway. He had filled a bottle with water, gotten a shower to clear his head, and then sat down in his bed to watch Netflix and monitor himself to make sure he felt good, and then nothing. He’d fallen asleep.

He got out of bed and groaned. He must have slept in a weird position because his whole body ached. His head was sore too but not more than usual after drinking. And he wasn’t dead so the chemicals must not have been that bad.

The apartment was quiet. San checked Yunho’s room, but except for the two parakeets Yunho had in a cage at the end of his bed, it was empty. One of them tilted its head at San, and San shushed it before closing the door. He had hoped to talk to Yunho right away, try to get some information out of him, but it seemed he’d have to wait.

Over a light breakfast, San sent a text to his group chat with Jongho and Mingi:  _ How was last night? _ He had finished his cereal and coffee by the time Jongho replied with a string of emojis that progressed from happy ones to the one throwing up, followed by a  _ Mingi’s still in bed. I’m going back to sleep. _

At least they were alive, and San suspected they were suffering the consequences of drinking alcohol and not the liquid.

There was no sign of Yunho, so San took his laptop to their couch. He had an assignment for a marketing course that he needed to finish, but it was hard to concentrate when his thoughts were elsewhere. After a few hours, he gave up and googled the science institute.

Their website was practically useless. What they researched was, as Yunho had said confidential, and the lists of patents and older discoveries meant nothing to San. Maybe Jongho would have been able to get something out of it but San was pretty sure ‘oligonucleotide’ was just a made-up word.

For a second, San regretted not paying attention during the tour. He had gone mostly to keep Jongho company, and his course on entrepreneurship accepted almost any company visit for extra credit. He hadn’t expected to actually learn anything useful.

San left the website and scrolled down the results instead. There were articles about funding and reports from summits and older news about the company that ran the research institute acquiring smaller businesses. San opened one of them, relieved when the text made sense to him.

He spent the following hours looking into the smaller companies that the institute had bought, hoping to figure out what they had done, but by the time Yunho came home, all he knew was that the company running the research institute was financially stable and had government funding.

There was no information about what they did with the money.

“Hi”, Yunho said and kicked off his shoes. “How’s your day been?”

“Good”, San replied and watched Yunho toss his backpack into his room. “Where have you been?”

“At the library.” Yunho walked to the fridge. “I don’t think one of my professors realizes I have other courses too. The workload is insane.” He took a water bottle and slumped down on the other end of the couch. “And I had the worst hangover ever.”

“How did it go yesterday?”

“It was a lot of fun. We were all pretty drunk, though. I think Mingi threw up in the club bathroom and Wooyoung—I don’t know if you remember him—couldn’t walk properly by the time we left. He always drinks too much, though, so that’s par for the course.”

“Anything else?”

Yunho groaned. “Seonghwa dances surprisingly well on a pole? I don’t know. You should have come, it was a good time.”

“Maybe next time.” San’s pulse had settled while Yunho talked knowing that he hadn’t accidentally killed anyone. Yunho emptied half the water bottle and glanced toward the door to his room. Before he could get up, San said hurriedly, “You know, that place you’re interning at, it was actually really cool.”

“Oh. Thanks. It is, I guess.”

“What is it they really do? I get that it’s confidential but you know, I don’t really understand any of it anyway so you can tell me the short version.”

“I thought you didn’t care about it at all.”

San shrugged. “I might have judged too quickly.”

“Well… The focus is on genetically engineering proteins, um, it’s called site-directed mutagenesis but the idea is to control their DNA sequences… Not like X-men mutants, nothing like that. More like—”

“What would happen to someone if they drank that stuff you had in the fridges? That’s the mutated… proteins, right? Hypothetically? Would they be… mutated?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think we are doing human trials right now.” Yunho frowned. “Besides, it’s not really made to be ingested. Why?”

“Just curious”, San replied as innocently as he could. “Do you think you could find out?”

“That’s all way out of my paygrade. Besides, I don’t think they even know. It hasn’t been tested.” Yunho pushed himself to his feet with a groan. “I need to feed Orville and Wilbur and then I’m going to bed. I’ve got work tomorrow so I can’t be half-dead.”

San almost let him go. He could keep hoping that the stolen liquid didn’t do anything and that the way everyone was feeling was because of the alcohol. But he remembered how he had felt when he woke up, and if he was honest, he’d never felt like that after a night out. And he hadn’t even been that drunk.

“Yunho-yah”, San said, and Yunho stopped with his hand on the door handle. “Do you think drinking that stuff could be dangerous?”

“I don’t know.” Yunho turned back to him with a frown. “San-ah, you didn’t drink it, did you? When I showed you the backroom?”

“No”, San swallowed, “but I did take a vial. And poured it into my flask. And Mingi accidentally passed it around yesterday. So I think we all, maybe, drank it.”

Face expressionless and voice monotone, Yunho said, “What the fuck.”

“Yeah.”

Yunho dragged his palm down his face with a heavy sigh. “I’ll try to investigate what it was tomorrow. I don’t think it’s dangerous, but… Shit, I’m too tired to think. I’ll look around tomorrow.” Yunho walked into his room and closed the door after himself.

San dropped his head on the back of the couch. That could have been worse, he thought and closed his eyes. Maybe he could use a nap as well.

San didn’t see Yunho for the rest of the day, and on Sunday, Yunho was gone by the time San woke up. San didn’t have work until Monday afternoon but he had his assignment for marketing to do so he took his laptop and a cup of coffee with him and headed to the campus library.

When he came home in the early evening, Yunho was still at work. Around nine, Yunho sent him a message:  _ Can you feed Orville and Wilbur. I’ll be home late _ . San had been playing on the computer, but when the game ended, he left his room for Yunho’s.

Yunho kept his room clean. The supplies for the birds were underneath the cage in a neatly arranged box. The birds chattered when San approached, one blue and one white, small and useless as pets in San’s opinion. He was more of a cat person himself. He filled up the food bowl and returned to his room.

He wondered what was taking Yunho so long. He hoped Yunho hadn’t run into trouble. He hadn’t heard anything from Jongho or Mingi the whole day so he assumed they were fine. He felt normal. Still, San was restless, and as he lay on his bed, his foot kept tapping on the bedding.

He opened Twitter and found Jongho’s latest post. It was from Saturday, complaining about his headache, and San opened the replies. Mingi, Yunho, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung. San clicked on Wooyoung’s profile. He had purple hair in his picture, a blue checkmark next to his username, and an astonishing amount of followers.

San scrolled down, clicking on every picture but making sure not to like anything. He didn’t need Wooyoung to know he had been looking him up, even if it was by chance and because he was bored. On Friday, Wooyoung had tweeted a link to a Youtube video, and the thumbnail had his face in it. San clicked on it.

Apparently Wooyoung was a Youtuber. And a pretty popular one too. His latest video was a fifteen-minute vlog, and because San didn’t have anything better to do, he watched it. And then the next one. And then he turned on autoplay. Three hours later, he fell asleep halfway-through a year old video of Wooyoung trying to get Yeosang to do a silly dance challenge.

San woke up the following morning to a sharp knock on his door. He groaned and reached for his phone. The battery had died. Another series of knocks.

“Come in!” San rolled over and fumbled for his charger. He connected it to his phone just as his door was knocked on again. “I’m coming”, he mumbled and pushed himself out of bed. His head felt blurry and for some reason, Wooyoung’s laughter was echoing in his ears.

“What?” San asked and ripped the door open. But there was no one on the other side. A chattering sound drew San’s gaze down and there, on the floor outside his door, was one of Yunho’s birds. It was the white one; San had never learned which one was which. “What the fuck?”

The bird flapped its wings and flew right at San. San stumbled back but managed to stay on his feet. The bird swooped past him and landed on the bed. It tilted its head and chattered again.

“How am I supposed to get you back in your cage?” San groaned. “I don’t know anything about birds. Where’s Yunho when you need him?”

The bird started growing bigger. San’s heart stopped. The liquid was finally kicking in; it had mutated his brain and now he was seeing things. He took a step back as the bird kept growing. Its beak retracted, began resembling a human nose; its claws turned into feet and the wings sprouted fingers, lost their feathering.

San was absolutely sure he had gone mad when within two minutes, a naked Yunho was sitting on his bed instead of the bird.

Yunho tugged the covers over himself, grinned, and said, “I’m right here.”

San wasn’t able to say anything. Except, “What the fuck?”

“I don’t know if this is possible without losing all my clothes. It would be really convenient. But yeah”, Yunho laughed at San’s shocked expression. “I figured out what happens if you drink the stuff you stole.”

“You are a bird”, San said because it was the only thing on his mind.

“No. I can  _ transform  _ into a bird. Probably other animals too if I can get my hands on them. And, I suspect, so can you.”

San pushed his palms against his eyes. “I think the liquid messed up my brain.”

“No, it didn’t”, Yunho said, and his voice had turned kinder. San peeked at him through his fingers. Not a bird. His smile was comforting, probably because he had picked up on San’s distress. However, his words weren’t making the situation any better. “Well, kind of. It actually messed with all of you. Your DNA. Or, more accurately, and now I’m just guessing, but the DNA in the proteins that make up your body.”

“I’m going to…” San gestured at his chair, then willed his feet to walk over to it and slump down. He couldn’t stop staring at Yunho. He had been a  _ bird _ . “So that’s what the—the institute researches? How to turn people into animals?”

“From what I could find out, not exactly. They do research animal-based proteins. And I’m guessing the long-term plan would be to genetically engineer them. But this, morphing power, I don’t think this was the goal. Just a happy accident. Like Coca Cola.”

“What?” San was more lost than ever.

“It was meant to be a cure for headaches. So… not exactly the same thing but, you know, kind of.”

San rubbed his temples. Yunho could turn into a bird and it was because of the liquid San had stolen. Which was like Coca Cola for some reason. “How can you turn into a bird? I thought you were Orville. Or Wilbur.”

Yunho sighed and stood up, keeping the cover wrapped around himself. “I’ll get changed and then I’ll explain. Can you brew some coffee? I didn’t sleep last night.”

Yunho left with San’s covers. San stared at his now-empty bed. He was still utterly confused but it seemed the only way to get answers was to brew coffee. So he got up and got to work.

Yunho joined him in the living room before the coffee was ready, thankfully dressed and practically bouncing on his feet. Whether it was because of excitement or over-exhaustion was impossible to tell. He plopped down on the couch, but San remained by the coffee machine.

“So yesterday at work, I tried to find out as much as I could about the research and what the liquid in the vial you stole actually was. Turns out, it was—”

“I don’t need the details”, San interrupted and took out two cups for them. He wouldn’t understand any of it anyway. “Just get to the animal morphing part.”

“Okay. Um, well, I suspected it would have some sort of effect based on what I found out. Protein research is actually really interested in—”

“Yunho-yah, please.”

“Okay, sorry. Anyway, I got home and I thought I’d try some things. I tried talking to my birds and I ate some of their food, and I tested my senses too to see if any of them were heightened. Nothing worked.”

San poured the coffee into their cups and handed Yunho his.

“Thanks. So the sun was coming up and I was really tired but I took Wilbur out of the cage to pet him, and I looked at him and thought about  _ being _ him, and suddenly I had feathers on my arms. So I kept going.”

“So you touched… Wilbur and turned into him?” San sat down on the couch across from Yunho, afraid his legs would give out. What the fuck.

“Yeah. I mean, I had to focus really hard. But I tried it many times and I think I’ve figured it out. I don’t have to touch him anymore, just that first time, but I can’t turn into anything else, so I think the touch has to happen. But I don’t know, I’d have to do some more experiments. Oh. You should try it! To see if you can do it too.”

“I don’t want to turn into a bird”, San protested. He needed to go back to sleep to see if this was still all real once he woke up. The coffee burned his tongue but it barely registered. He remembered the ache in his body when he’d woken up on Saturday and thought about how horrible all of them had felt. Had their DNA really changed during the night? “Is this real?”

“It is”, Yunho said with a wide grin. “Isn’t science cool?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is that animorphs au i was talking abt while writing toyl. except i don't like aliens so that's replaced by ~science~
> 
> how are u guys feeling? are u excited for where this is going? what animal is san going to choose? leave guesses below hehe
> 
> oh and oligonucleotide is only a made up word in the sense in which all words are made up.


	3. Chapter 3

“Is it okay if I head out?” San shrugged on his leather jacket and glanced at Soyeon. She wasn’t paying any attention to him, all her focus on making sure her friend had fastened the bulletproof vest properly. “Noona?”

Soyeon looked up from the straps, smile on her lips. Her friend was trying to hold back a giggle. This was the first time San had seen her, but he recognized the excitement in her eyes. All first-time visitors were either like her or nervous enough to have their hands shaking.

“Sure. I’ll lock up when we’re done. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Alright. Have fun and try not to shoot each other.” San waved at them before heading out, taking the stairs up to the street two at the time. The neon ‘Open’ sign on the door was turned off. He made sure to lock the door behind himself, then joined the crowd toward the metro station.

The sun had already set, but Myeongdong was never dark; the neon lights and colorful screens lit up the streets and the ever-present throng of shoppers, teenagers, and tourists. San had been working at the gun range for nearly a year, so he didn’t mind the pushing and slow pace any longer.

The metro station and the train car he managed to squeeze into were just as packed. San gripped onto the overhead bar to keep himself upright and fished his phone out of his pocket. He hadn’t had the chance to look at it during his shift. Jongho had spammed him with questions and excited emojis; Yunho had sent him a message an hour ago to let him know people had started arriving. San replied that he was on his way and pocketed his phone.

After the initial shock of discovering that they could now turn into animals, San and Yunho had agreed that they should let everyone else who had been at the party know about it. Yunho had thought it was best to invite everyone over so that he could prove it, thinking that delivering the information over a group text was probably not the best way to go about it.

The doors slid open, and San shuffled to the side to let people out. A woman with a dog got on. The dog’s mouth was hanging open, tongue lolling out, and though it stayed between its owner's legs, its nose kept twitching, head turning around. San eyed it. Maybe he should ask to pet it and see if he could morph into one.

The train stopped again. San got off without approaching the dog. It had been two days already, yet he hadn’t tried his new powers. It felt silly to call them powers too. The whole thing was absurd, and San hesitated whether he wanted anything to do with it at all.

If he ignored it, nothing had to change.

The voices from his apartment carried out into the hallway. San tugged out his earphones before unlocking the door. He had told Yunho to get started without him, but even as he stepped inside, he sort of regretted showing up at all. He feared that the people gathered in the living room that he now shared this secret with would be impossible to ignore no matter what he did.

All heads turned toward him.

“How’s it going?” San asked and hung up his coat. Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Yeosang had squeezed onto the couch together; Yunho was standing by the counter. Jongho and Mingi had brought the chairs from the dining table to fill in the circle, and Wooyoung was on the floor, back against Yeosang’s legs.

“Well, we just watched Yunho-hyung turn into a bird, so…” Jongho said with a wide grin. There was no trace of the wariness San could see in Yeosang’s posture and Seonghwa’s expression in his voice.

San met Wooyoung’s eyes briefly. A mix of excitement and shock, and a sudden blush on his cheeks. San wondered what had caused it. “Alright. I’ll get changed and be right back.”

He walked into his room and tugged off his work shirt. It was tight enough not to get in the way while he worked and had the added bonus of showing off how much time he spent at the gym. Whenever a bachelorette party booked an hour at the gun range, San was usually put in charge of guiding them.

He changed into a loose-fitting sleeveless and kicked off his slacks in favor of black sweatpants. Figuring that the quicker he joined the others, the quicker they’d leave, he returned to the living room. He sat down on the floor so that he could fold his feet underneath the low table, and shot a smile toward Wooyoung when he caught him looking.

“Do you have an animal too?” Wooyoung asked.

“No. I haven’t decided what I’d want yet. I know it’s not a bird.”

“Excuse you”, Yunho protested. He had hoisted himself up on the kitchen counter. “Flying is amazing. I don’t think I want to do anything else anymore.”

“Whatever you say. So… everyone knows now?” San cleared his throat. He had prepared an apology, and frankly, he was surprised nobody seemed angry. At all. If it hadn’t been for him stealing from the institute, none of them would be here. “I just wanted to say—”

“I told them everything we know about morphing”, Yunho interrupted, “which isn’t much. And that the liquid was from my work.”

“Yeah, well—”

But Yunho wasn’t done. “And that I got one of the samples I’d taken home mixed when I was making drinks for us. It was all an accident.”

San frowned in confusion but smoothened out his expression when Yunho near-imperceptibly shook his head. San didn’t understand why Yunho wanted to keep his involvement a secret. He’d have to ask him later. He just hoped Yunho didn’t think he was doing him a favor because San did not want to owe him anything.

“So what do we do know?” Seonghwa asked. “Should we tell anyone? This is big. Like, world-changing big. Should we go to the research institute and let them know what they’ve developed?”

Yeosang nodded. “Maybe they could help us.”

“No”, San said firmly. He’d seen enough movies to know how that would end. He’d seen enough authorities abuse their power. He did not want to be under the control of another organization that only claimed to care about him. “I don’t want to be experimented on.”

“They wouldn’t do that”, Yunho protested.

“Of course they would. Like Seonghwa-hyung said, this is big. They aren’t going to just let us keep living our lives if they find out.”

“I’m sure they’d want to run tests and monitor us, but it’s not like I’ve been working for an evil sci-fi movie villain.” Yunho’s frown deepened though his tone softened. “But San’s right: it would change our lives forever. But I still think we should tell them.”

“That’s not your decision to make.” San had been prepared to stand his ground alone, but to his surprise Wooyoung spoke up.

“How do you know they aren’t evil? I don’t want to be locked in a lab for the rest of my life.”

Yeosang slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t exaggerate, Youngie-yah.”

Before Wooyoung could get another word out or retaliate, Hongjoong held his palms up. The bangles around his wrists clanged against each other. “How about this: We don’t tell anyone yet. We don’t do anything to draw attention to ourselves. We’ll try to figure out what would happen if we reveal this. We’ll look into the research institute and decide later. But it has to be unanimous.”

Seonghwa nodded immediately, and one by one, they all agreed. San hesitated. He didn’t think poking into the institute was the best way to stay unnoticed, but he had done that already anyway. Better this than walking in through their doors tomorrow. He was certain Yunho wouldn’t lie about how they’d gotten the liquid to his employers.

“Does that mean we can’t morph?” Jongho whined.

“I want to do it”, Mingi said, and Wooyoung agreed right away.

“Me too. It’s unfair if Yunho-yah is the only one who gets to.”

Hongjoong sighed, then nodded. “Just be low-key about it.”

The room filled with talk again as Mingi and Jongho began throwing out the animals they’d like to turn into, and Wooyoung tilted his head back into Yeosang’s lap to convince him to try right away once they left. Even Hongjoong and Seonghwa began planning; San could hear them talk about pet cats and a farm Seonghwa’s family owned outside the city.

San pushed himself up and walked to the fridge. He opened it to get a water bottle and glanced at Yunho. The conversations were loud enough to cover his voice when he asked, “Why didn’t you tell them that I stole the vial?”

Yunho jumped off the counter and kept his voice low as well. “I didn’t think it was the best idea to tell everyone you’d stolen it. We are in enough trouble as it is.” He patted San on the shoulder in passing and squeezed himself onto the couch.

San stayed where he was. He had been thinking about nothing but the new powers they now found them with since Sunday, but he hadn’t realized quite how much this could change his life. Even in the best-case scenario, they’d be studied for the rest of their lives if they couldn’t keep this a secret. And there were seven other people he had to trust to keep it.

Wooyoung’s presence pulled him out of his disquieting thoughts. “My parents just got a dog”, he said and leaned against the counter. “I think I’m going to try to turn into her.”

San turned to face him, wiped his thoughts away with a smirk, and opened the water bottle. Wooyoung’s hair was a little curly, and he had a velvet choker around his neck. “You’re a puppy already, what’s the point?”

“I am not!” Wooyoung protested but a blush was spreading on his cheeks, and San was pleased that he had caused it. He took a sip from the bottle, just as Wooyoung exhaled heavily. “I’m so sad I can’t film any of this.”

“For your Youtube channel?”

Wooyoung’s eyes snapped back to him. “How do you know I have a channel?”

“I happened to come across it. I think Yunho told me. I’m not sure.” San drank more water. He had spent so many hours watching Wooyoung’s videos, he felt like he knew him a lot better than he actually did. And he had never planned to let Wooyoung know. He didn’t want Wooyoung to think he was interested in anything more than sex.

“Okay.” Wooyoung drew out the vowels, a satisfied smile on his lips. “Did you watch any of my videos?”

“I might have glanced at one”, San said and scrambled his brain to find anything to say that didn’t sound like a compliment. “You’re very loud.”

It still came out as one, and Wooyoung batted his eyelashes. “Is that a bad thing?”

Before San could answer, torn between pushing Wooyoung away because San didn’t want to be his friend and pulling him into a kiss because San  _ wanted  _ him, Jongho walked up to them and grabbed San by the arm. “Hyung, we have an idea. C’mon.”

Jongho lead him into his room, and Mingi closed the door behind him. They were both grinning from ear to ear.

“So remember how I worked at that zoo two summers ago”, Mingi began, “and I lost my key card. I had to pay a fine and it was like way too much to be reasonable.”

“.... Yeah?”

“I ended up finding the key card when I moved in with Jongho. And I—well, we thought that maybe it still works.”

Jongho’s eyes were wide with excitement. “They’ve got elephants and stuff at the zoo, San-ah.”

“So you’re saying we should break into the zoo?”

“We’d have the coolest animals! A cat is cool and all but imagine morphing into a lion.”

“How would you ever get close enough to touch a lion?”

“Alright, maybe not a lion, maybe something that doesn’t kill us. What do you think?”

Mingi laughed. “A monkey would be awesome.”

What did San need new friends for when the two he had got him into enough trouble as it was? He sighed, but Jongho and Mingi’s smiled were infectious. They’d done way dumber stuff before.

“What the hell—let’s break into a zoo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i struggle™
> 
> does san seem like an asshole? do u get that he has some hangups™? does any of this make sense?
> 
> lmk haha (//▽//)


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was setting, its light a deep yellow and the long rays stretching over the carpet a burnt orange. San had his earbuds in to shut out the sounds of the few students in the library, his foot moving to the melodious beats that helped him focus on rather than distract from the brick of a book he was reading. He was sitting in the corner furthest from the stairs, right by the floor-to-ceiling windows, wearing an old hoodie that was soft and warm.

He had had no lectures that day, but he’d been at work since morning. He had done the bookkeeping for the gun range before they’d opened at noon, and then been too busy for a proper lunch or a break longer than five minutes. After punching out, he had headed straight to the library, stopping by a ramen place on the way. He had watched one of Wooyoung’s videos while he ate.

San rubbed his eyes and glanced around the top floor. He liked coming in in the evenings when it was quiet, even if he never was the only one studying this late. Students were scattered over the floor, curled up in semi-comfortable armchairs with books in hand, or spread out over the tables, tired eyes on their laptops. Someone had just arrived, settling into an armchair on the other side of the open space by the sociology books, but more chairs were empty than occupied. And someone was just climbing up the stairs, eyes searching for an empty spot, blonde hair mussed—oh.

Wooyoung’s gaze landed on San, and a wide smile spread on his face as he began walking toward him. San tugged out his earbuds, suspecting that he wouldn’t get much reading done any longer.

“Mind if I join you?” Wooyoung asked and put his satchel on the table, pulled out the chair across from San’s, and sat down.

“As long as you don’t distract me.”

“I’ll try.” San put one earbud back in and tried to return his attention to his book. Wooyoung was quiet while he took out his laptop and turned it on, but while he waited for it to whirr to life, he pushed it aside and leaned across the table. “Guess what?”

San should have glared at him or sighed heavily, or something to indicate that he wanted to be left alone. Instead, he put his book down. “What?”

“I did it.” Wooyoung managed to be loud despite whispering. “With our dog. I morphed into her.” San smiled despite himself because Wooyoung’s grin was infectious and pretty.

“That’s cool.”

“Right? What about you? Did you do it yet?” When San shook his head, Wooyoung’s smile turned into a pout. Cute. “Why not? It’s not that scary and I promise it doesn’t hurt. Well, it hurts just a little, just while it’s happening. But it’s worth it.”

“Just haven’t found the right animal yet.” San still hadn’t decided what he’d try to get at the zoo. Jongho was set on a gorilla, and Mingi changed his mind every ten minutes. San’s phone had been buzzing the whole day with messages from them planning for the break-in.

“Well, do you want to see?”

“I’m trying to study, you know.”

“I promise it will be quick.”

San sighed, ignored the butterflies in his stomach, and pushed his chair back. “Alright.”

They left their things at the table and walked away from the windows, between the bookcases until they couldn’t be seen or heard by the other students. San leaned against the bookcase and crossed his arms. Instead of morphing, Wooyoung moved closer and grabbed him by the shoulders, and San’s breath caught in his throat.

Wooyoung turned him around. “I don’t want you to look.”

“Shy?” San teased but did not try to glance over his shoulder when Wooyoung let go and backed away.

“No. I just look really ugly when I morph. It’s so weird.”

“I’m sure it can’t be worse than seeing Yunho morph into a bird. That stuff is for nightmares.” San ducked his head, a smile pulling at his lips. “Honestly, I’d be more freaked out if it didn’t look weird. You resemble a puppy enough as it is.”

A high-pitched yap was all the warning San got before a dog attacked his shoelaces. He couldn’t help his surprised laugh and picked Wooyoung up. The dog he had morphed into was small, had soft light golden fur, and big brown eyes.

“Hi puppy”, San teased. A literal puppy. Wooyoung’s tail wagged, shaking his whole body, and he barked again before licking San’s face with all the enthusiasm of an actual dog. San laughed and tried to turn his face away, supporting the puppy against his chest while it— _ Wooyoung _ —licked all over his cheek. “Alright, calm down before I have to put you on a leash.”

Wooyoung’s clothes were in a pile on the floor. San put him down next to them, and Wooyoung’s tail stopped wagging.

“How about you morph back before we get kicked out?” The puppy tilted its head, and San patted it. “Focus, Wooyoung-ah.” He turned his back to Wooyoung and hoped he would obey. Yunho had mentioned that whenever he morphed, the animal instincts took over first before he could get in control. San dried his wet cheek with his sleeve.

“I always feel so happy after morphing”, Wooyoung said, but before San could turn around, he continued, “Give me a second.” The rustle of clothes, and when Wooyoung appeared by San’s side, he was dressed, hair a little messier than before, smile a little more blinding. “Was I cute?”

“Couldn’t tell a difference.”

Wooyoung hit him on the shoulder. “Meanie. No more kisses for you.”

San shook his head in amusement and walked back to their table, Wooyoung half a step behind him. They sat down, and San picked up his book even if he doubted he would be able to focus. Wooyoung kept glancing at him but didn’t say anything, and the table trembled with the way Wooyoung’s knee was bouncing against it.

“I wanted to ask if—”

A loud pop song cut his sentence off, and Wooyoung dug his phone out from his satchel and replied before the chorus could end. San caught some other students glancing their way in irritation but ignored them in favor of observing Wooyoung, whose smile had disappeared.

“I’m at the library.” He actually managed to keep his voice low, and something in the way he seemed to shrink in on himself made San want to reach out and touch him. “I wanted to—no of course not, I… Okay. I’ll be right there. Bye, Mom.”

He hung up and glanced at San, the smile on his lips a pale imitation of what it had been before the phone call. “I’ve got to go. Sorry for distracting you, San-ah.”

“You didn’t”, San found himself saying. “It was a much-needed break.”

His words made Wooyoung smile, genuinely this time, and for some reason that made San feel good too. Wooyoung packed his things and left without disturbing the silence of the library again. San watched him until he disappeared down the stairs, then turned his gaze toward the windows and the setting sun.

Returning to the book on corporate mergers seemed less appealing than ever, and San allowed himself a few minutes of wondering what the call had been about. He reached for his own phone to check his new messages, and Mingi’s latest idea—a shark—reminded him that he was on a time schedule. He had only three hours left before he needed to head home if he wanted to have time to eat.

As he returned his attention to the book, he did his best to push away any thoughts of Wooyoung and the zoo and whether there was any point in studying right now. If they got caught breaking into the zoo tonight, he’d probably miss the exam anyway.

They walked past the lit entrance of the zoo, careful to stay in the shadows as Mingi lead the way toward the employee entrance. There would probably be a guard on shift so they would have to be careful, but if Mingi’s key still worked and they didn’t go inside any of the buildings, they would not set off any alarms. Hopefully.

San held his breath when Mingi pushed the key into the lock. He was dressed all in black, had a mask on to cover his face in case anyone ever took a look at the security cam footage, and his hands were sweating. The door opened smoothly.

The zoo was disquieting like this. All pathways were lit, but the enclosures were dark. With the absence of noise from people, San could hear birds somewhere far off, sounds he couldn’t place from animals he couldn’t guess, and his own steps so very loud. Mingi mumbled to himself as he lead them past the employee building trying to remember the shortest route to the primates.

They arrived without encountering anyone. The smaller monkeys were still awake, and San followed Mingi up to one of the large cages. The monkeys chattered louder when they noticed them. San feared someone would hear them, but neither Jongho nor Mingi seemed to care, eyes and grins wide as they stared at the animals.

“I want one of these”, Mingi said and reached his hand through the bars. San glanced at the sign next to the enclosure: Capuchin monkeys. They clung to the branches with their long tails, dark fur almost invisible in the night. Mingi stood still as one of them approached, white face tilted toward Mingi’s hand. With a leap, it landed right on Mingi’s forearm.

“Fuck yes”, Jongho breathed out. “Focus, Mingi-hyung.”

“I’m trying.” Mingi stared at the animal without blinking. The monkey blinked its dark eyes and jumped off, and San and Jongho waited expectantly.

“Well? Did it work?”

“I don’t know”, Mingi said and withdrew his hand. “I feel normal? Should I try to morph?”

“We don’t have the time”, San said and looked around. He needed to find an animal before they got caught. A monkey would do, he supposed. Opposable thumbs would be useful. “Let’s just be quick and test it out once we’re out of here.”

While they talked, Jongho had walked off and found the gorillas. One of them, a huge silverback, was sleeping against the bars of the huge cage. San and Mingi didn’t approach, afraid that they would wake it as Jongho snuck up to it. San could see him take a deep breath before placing his palm on its back.

They didn’t move, didn’t speak until Jongho had stepped away. The gorilla stayed asleep. Jongho’s grin overtook his face and he practically skipped back to them, holding his hand out as if he was physically holding his newly-acquired morphing power in it.

“This is the coolest thing I’ve ever done”, he said, and Mingi shushed him.

“San-ah, you’re next. What do you want?”

_ If that wasn’t the question of his life _ . San avoided their eyes by looking around. He didn’t know why he was making this choice so difficult. He could always get more than one animal or just never morph if he didn’t want to. But they’d already broken in; it would be stupid not to get anything.

“I’ll just get something on the way out”, San replied eventually.

“Alright. But let’s take the longer way back to see if we spot anything awesome. That gorilla was super lucky—I want something big too”, Mingi said and began walking, resolutely not looking at Jongho’s satisfied grin.

The something big that caught Mingi’s eye was the elephant enclosure.

“Mingi-yah, no.”

Mingi didn’t spare San a glance. “What are they going to do, trample me to death?” He slunk between the iron bars and ran toward the elephant closest to them, crouched down like it would do him any good. When he reached it, the elephant turned to look at him but didn’t protest when Mingi placed his hand on its leg.

A few seconds during which San breathed out in relief, then the elephant raised its trunk and made a sound loud enough to make San jump and Jongho let out a surprised shout. Mingi began running, and from the corner of his eye San could see a door open in a building next to the enclosure.

“Shit”, he cursed and pushed Jongho to get him to move.

“Stop!” A man in a guard’s uniform set off toward them, the beam of his flashlight shaking as he ran. San didn’t look back rushing away from him with Jongho at his side. A quick glance confirmed that Mingi had changed direction, disappearing into the darkness, and when they approached a fork in the pathway, San pointed to the right.

“Let’s split up!”

Jongho nodded and ran in the direction San had pointed, and San turned left. He didn’t turn around to check who the guard had decided to follow, his own footsteps and the rushing of his blood thundering in his ears. He took another left and spotted the building the guard had emerged from and headed toward the door.

It was ajar, and San dashed through it, pulled it shut behind himself. The guard had forgotten the lights on, but San didn’t stay to look around, jogged forward through the hallway until he reached a room. He stopped, chest heaving and breathing loud in the clinic.

There was an operating table in the middle of the room, another door right across from him, and cages in different sizes along the walls. Colorful birds flapped in their cages when he passed, and he spotted a huge snake in a terrarium. In the shadows, between a fish tank and a filing cabinet, something big and black lay inside a cage with thick bars. San approached it carefully and swallowed.

The panther was unconscious, its back rising and falling peacefully. San suspected that it was sedated. It seemed the only explanation to how it hadn’t woken up yet even though the birds had been screaming and San had slammed the door open when he entered.

“Please don’t eat me”, San mumbled and crouched by the cage. He held his breath as he reached through the bars and placed his hand on the panther’s back. It was warm under his touch, its fur smooth, and it did not wake up. “How the fuck do I do this?”

San closed his eyes and tried to remember everything Yunho had told him.  _ Focus _ . He pushed the thought of the guard away and opened his eyes. Slowly, his breathing calmed down to match the animal’s. There was no shock of electricity, no tingling in his arm, but somehow San knew that it had worked.

He pulled his hand back and stood. He needed to get out before the guard returned. With one last glance at the panther, San jogged to the other door and opened it. Through another hallway, and then he was outside. He ran until he reached the fence surrounding the zoo and climbed over it, hidden by the night, heart pounding in his chest now more out of excitement than fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are happening O-O
> 
> what do u guys think? pls talk to me i'm bored.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i took a week off, the world's on fire so i think i'm excused.

Jongho had bought the biggest bathrobe he could find so that he could morph into a gorilla with it on. Currently, he was in his human form sitting cross-legged on the floor, bathrobe folded over his lap to retain whatever modesty he had left. It was an ugly shade of yellow, and San tried not to look at it.

“I swear it’s making me stronger as a human too”, Jongho said after breaking an apple in half as if it proved anything, as if that hadn’t been his go-to party trick since they started going to parties at the end of high school. “I don’t care what Hongjoong or Yunho say. I can feel it.”

San shook his head and stared up at the ceiling. He was lying on the couch, feet over the backrest to make room for Mingi at the other end of it. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and San had traveled to his friends’ apartment after his class. His only plan for the day had been going to the gym, but Mingi and Jongho kept messaging their group chat non-stop about how cool it was to morph, and he had begrudgingly admitted to himself that he was intrigued.

“We should take a trip on the weekend”, Mingi said, “somewhere outside the city so that I can try if I got the elephant. It’s too big for the city.”

“I can’t. I’ve got work all weekend. We’ve got a ton of bookings, and Soyeon already put me on bachelorette-party duty.” San’s head hurt just at the thought of the long hours. He liked his coworkers, and the job would look good on his resume, but neither guns nor customer service had ever been his passion.

“Nice”, Mingi grinned.

Jongho wiggled his eyebrows. “Just warn Yunho before you bring someone home.”

“I don’t think I will. I’ve still got work the next day.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you before.”

“Maybe you should finally morph”, Mingi suggested. “That would give you all the energy. Like seriously. It’s that instincts-thing Yunho talked about. Morphing into a monkey before I study has made me hella productive.”

Jongho nodded enthusiastically. “It’s a real adrenaline kick for sure.”

“I guess. Wooyoung said that too.”

“Oh  _ Wooyoung  _ said so”, Jongho drawled, a grin splitting his face. “Well then, I guess that settles it. When have you two been hanging out?”

San didn’t appreciate his expression or the suggestive tone of his voice. “We studied together at the library last week. Coincidentally. And I’ve run into him on campus a couple of times, also completely coincidentally.”

“Mhm, sure. But you like him.”

“I want to fuck him, sure; he’s hot. but it’s not like I want to date him.”

“Nobody said anything about dating”, Mingi poked San’s thigh with his toe, “that was all you.”

San huffed and pushed himself up off the couch. “Whatever. I’m going to the gym.” He had left his duffel bag by the front door, and he threw it over his shoulder after shoving his shoes on.

“Wait, I’ll walk with you to the station”, Jonho shouted before he could open the door. “I need to get something from the store.”

They took the elevator down in silence, and as they stepped out on the street, San considered running away. He would rather not hear the words Jongho had been chewing on during the ride down. But it was two blocks, and there was no crowd San could disappear into, and he wasn’t a child, so he waited for Jongho to speak up.

They crossed the street when Jongho finally said, “You know, Wooyoung is really nice. I mean, I don’t know him  _ that _ well but everyone likes him. And I think he’s friends with literally everyone on campus.”

“So?”

“So I—we think he could be good for you. You should ask him out. Properly.”

San clenched his jaw. “I don’t want a relationship.”

“Is it too cliché to say that that might not be what you want, but it’s probably what you need?” Jongho laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, a clear sign that he was as uncomfortable with the discussion as San was. But he was stubborn enough to keep going and probably worried enough too. “You should give him a chance.”

San dropped his gaze and kicked a crumpled up can someone had dropped in the middle of the sidewalk. It was clear that Jongho and Mingi had been talking. San knew it was because they cared about him and because they  _ knew  _ him, but it still felt a little like betrayal.

“I’m happy alone.”

“You’re safe alone”, Jongho corrected then grabbed San’s arm to make him stop walking. San met his gaze out of sheer pride. “You think everyone will eventually leave you but if you don’t let them in in the first place, how can anyone stay?”

“There’s a reason I’ve never gone to a therapist: I don’t want to talk about it.” San shrugged his arm free of Jongho’s grip and continued walking, eyes fixed on the station. He wasn’t afraid that Wooyoung would leave even if he let him in; he knew he would. It was the inevitable conclusion to any relationship.

Jongho caught up to him at the top of the escalators leading underground.

“What about me? And Mingi? We are still here.”

San stopped walking and turned around to face him. He had stolen the liquid for Jongho. He’d do anything for him and Mingi, and he was pretty sure they’d do the same for him. He hoped they would.

“It’s different with you two. You know how it feels.”

Jongho’s shoulders sagged, and San pulled him into a hug. Jongho held onto his shirt tightly and exhaled. “Yeah. Still. You should think about it. Giving Wooyoung a chance to show if he’s different too.” And because he was who he was and couldn’t leave a conversation on a down note, he let go and laughed and said, “And morphing too.”

“I will.”

San rode the escalator down and put on his headphones to drown out the rattling of the train and the tinny announcements of upcoming stations.

When Mingi and Jongho had been looking for an apartment, they’d had to move almost an hour away from the university to be able to afford something that was big enough. It was too big for just the two of them, to be honest, especially when neither cared enough to buy furniture to fill it. The long train ride was the biggest reason San rarely went over.

Right now, the journey felt longer than ever. San wanted to get to the gym so that he could stop thinking. He’d rather his arms hurt from lifting too much than his head from thinking about everything he tried to avoid.

The gym was nothing fancy, no spinning classes or potted plants or tanning beds, but it was open around the clock and just a few metro stops from San’s apartment. The clientele was mostly amateur bodybuilders, and San didn’t know anyone who went there, so he got to be alone.

He stayed longer than he had planned on. When he was done, his mind was blessedly empty, and his hands were shaking from exhaustion. The clock was approaching midnight, and he didn’t want to wake up Yunho when he got back, so he showered before getting changed. Angry music had gotten him through the workout, so he left the headphones hanging around his neck when he stepped outside to give his ears a break.

Despite the exhaustion in his muscles, he felt restless, adrenaline pumping through his body. It had been an abnormally hot day, and the heat still hung in the air despite the sun having set some time ago. The metro station sign glowed on the other side of the road, and San thought back to what Jongho and Mingi had said and wondered if it would be too bright through a panther’s eyes.

He crossed the road and walked past the entrance to the station. A few blocks off, the streets were smaller and quieter. San ducked into an alley and stopped by a padlocked backdoor. The light above the door wasn’t working and the streetlights couldn’t reach him this far. There was no one to see him morph.

San hid his duffel bag behind the stairs leading up to the door and hesitated before shrugging off his jacket. He would be bigger as a panther, and he didn’t want to ruin his clothes, so once he had made up his mind, he got undressed quickly. Then, he closed his eyes.

He imagined the black panther, its strong back and rounded ears and the spots barely visible in its fur. Even though the animal had been asleep when he touched it, he could see its yellow eyes vividly as if staring back at him, and he imagined its claws and the strength and the speed and—

His skin itched when fur broke out over his arms. San didn’t open his eyes. He could feel his bones change, his joints reshape, and Wooyoung had been right, it did hurt. When he clenched his teeth to stop himself from screaming from pain, he could feel them changing. His jaw ached, and before he could think about it too much, he fell forward and landed on his front paws.

And suddenly, the night wasn’t as dark anymore. San could see the cracks in the stairs in front of him, and the dirty tissue crumpled underneath his bag, and the even patterns of the tiled wall. He could hear something, a rodent, somewhere close by, and the cars buzzed steadily down the highway some blocks off, and someone slammed a door shut down the street.

His ears twitched when he heard the padding of smaller paws. A cat. He lowered his head and began stalking toward the sound, just past the entrance to the alley he was in. He needed to keep quiet until he got close enough to pounce on his prey.

His eyes caught on his own paw, and he stopped.  _ Stop _ . He wasn’t a panther; he was a human. He didn’t morph to hunt someone’s pet. He wasn’t even hungry. He just wanted to know what it felt like to morph.

And it felt amazing.

San walked out onto the street. It was empty except for the cat running away, and San managed to keep from chasing it. He dug his claws into the cracks in the sidewalk. He felt strong, and alive, and the world around him was alive. The city felt as wild as untouched nature: the rumble of the cars were unknown animals hiding, the streetlights were like stars above him, and in the darkness, the skyscrapers were like mountains against the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /whispers/ that's the name of the fic.
> 
> san morphed! how was it?? also san's got some issues~ hehe.


	6. Chapter 6

San had just lost a game of rock-paper-scissors to Jooheon when the door opened. They had been playing for who would have to take the next walk-in, as both would have preferred to keep sitting behind the counter and scrolling through social media instead of actually working. Jooheon grinned victoriously and rolled his chair in front of the computer, and San glared at him before turning toward the door.

Wooyoung was smiling as he walked inside. He had a satchel over his shoulder and a camera in his hand. He didn’t even glance at Jooheon when he stopped in front of the counter, and San didn't hate the prospect of having to get to work as much.

“I’m happy you’re here”, Wooyoung said in greeting.

“You are?”

“Well, yeah. Also, Yeosang couldn’t come with me today so now you”, he waved the camera, “can help me film.”

“I can—What?”

Wooyoung sighed, but his eyes were sparkling with amusement. “I’m making a video for my channel and I thought going to a shooting range and absolutely sucking would be funny enough. So will you help me?”

“Mm, okay, I guess.” Before San could look for it, Jooheon helpfully handed him the tablet. San placed it on the counter and turned it so the screen faced Wooyoung. “Read through the rules and sign on the bottom.”

Wooyoung skimmed through the information, signed, then paid without even looking at the price. San gestured for him to follow him through a locked door, but Wooyoung turned his camera on and did a sweep of the room. On one of the walls, there were pictures and autographs from celebrities who had visited the shooting range, and Wooyoung inspected some of them closer before stopping the recording and finally following San.

His appearance that interrupted what had otherwise been a monotone Friday at work had thrown San off-kilter. San blamed his own reaction completely on the unexpectedness of it all. He would have been as fumbling if it had been Yunho or Seonghwa.

Admittedly, he preferred it to be Wooyoung. As he had told Jongho and Mingi, he was attracted to him. This would be the perfect opportunity to get what he wanted from Wooyoung and then stop thinking about him.

Wooyoung began filming again in the next room. He talked in an excited voice, the way he always did in his videos, and San picked out bulletproof vests for them both while Wooyoung explained that a friend of his from college would help him out. He lowered the camera before he asked, “Do you mind if I show your face?”

San shrugged. “Go ahead. Here, put this on.”

“Cool.” Wooyoung raised the camera again and pointed it at the vest. “My friend is already worried about my aiming skills. Hah.” He managed to get the vest over his head, but with just one hand free he couldn’t tighten the straps properly. He pouted and pointed the camera at San. “Help, please.”

San rolled his eyes, fastened his own vest, then helped Wooyoung with his. Wooyoung held his hand extended so that he could film it, and San tried not to let his touch linger. Still, he noticed how skinny Wooyoung’s waist was and wondered how his hands would look wrapped around it.

“I know these aren’t the sexiest thing ever”, San said with a playful grimace when he handed the safety glasses to Wooyoung, “but they are mandatory.”

“I didn’t know this would be so dangerous”, Wooyoung grinned and put the glasses on. He made faces to the camera, and San shook his head with a smile.

“Surprise, guns are dangerous. But don’t worry”, San walked over to the door that lead to the shooting range, “just do what I say and you’ll be safe.”

Wooyoung smirked at him over the camera still pointed at himself. “I’ll be obedient like a well-trained puppy.”

Soyeon was with two young men in one of the booths. San chose the booth furthest away for them and held the door open for Wooyoung. There was just enough space for the two of them, and past the half wall was a long white room with targets set up.

“Wait here while I get the guns. You can pick a pair of earmuffs for yourself.” Wooyoung nodded, camera filming the range, and San hurried to the locked back room. He picked out the standard five that they let new customers try and returned to Wooyoung talking to his camera, black earmuffs around his neck.

San lined up the guns on the half wall and loaded the first one, a Glock 19. “Always keep the weapon pointed toward the target. And keep the protective gear on whenever you shoot. Have you ever done this before?”

“Nope.” Wooyoung put the earmuffs on. “Hold the camera so that I can get to embarrassing myself.”

San should have protested that this wasn’t according to their safety regulations, but he didn’t want to drop the camera when Wooyoung pushed it into his free hand. It was still filming, and San wondered how much time Wooyoung would have to spend editing all the material to get it down to fifteen minutes.

“Start with this one. The recoil isn’t that strong so it's good for beginners.” San handed the Glock to Wooyoung, who held it with one hand and pointed it toward the target. “That’s not—wait.” San laughed despite himself. “That’s not how you hold a gun despite what you’ve seen in movies.”

Wooyoung blinked his pretty eyes. “Show me then?”

San put the camera down on the half wall and moved closer to Wooyoung. “Don’t keep your finger on the trigger”, San took Wooyoung’s other hand and arranged it properly, “and support with the other hand. You’ll get a steadier shot that way.” San’s hands curled perfectly around Wooyoung’s, and San didn’t let go, didn’t step back. Instead, he moved behind Wooyoung and helped him aim. He could feel Wooyoung’s back move with his breaths. “Shoot on the exhale”, he murmured.

Wooyoung pulled the trigger, and the loud bang caused San to let go and Wooyoung to laugh. He squinted toward the target.

“I think I missed the whole thing.” He raised the gun again, this time holding it properly, but glanced at the camera before shooting. “Now please film instead of distracting me.”

“I’m starving. Do you want to grab something to eat? My treat. As a thank you for helping me out with this.” Wooyoung waved the camera. He had stopped filming after saying a quick goodbye to his viewers back in the lobby. According to what he had told the lens, he had had a lot of fun even though he’d only hit the bullseye once.

San bit his cheek. He hadn’t taken his break yet, and Soyeon was back behind the counter while Jooheon was instructing a couple that had come in while San was busy with Wooyoung. And he was a little a hungry  _ and  _ Wooyoung was paying. It would have been dumb not to go.

“Sure, why not.”

Wooyoung’s smile was blinding. “Great! I’ve been craving yakitori for weeks and I saw a Japanese place on the way here. Let’s go.”

“Noona, I’m taking my break now if that’s okay?”

Soyeon glanced up from the computer screen. Her gaze flickered to Wooyoung before it returned to the screen. With a knowing smile, she said, “Have fun with your boyfriend. Just don’t be out too long. We’ve got a booking in forty minutes.”

“Boyfriend”, Wooyoung teased as they climbed up the stairs toward the exit.

San huffed. “Don’t get any ideas. I’m not interested in a relationship. With anyone.”

Wooyoung pushed the door open. The street was teeming with people looking for a place to start their weekend at. All the neon signs were on and shining brighter than the setting sun.

“I’ve heard”, Wooyoung said and guided the way down the street. “You have a bit of a reputation for that. But it’s okay; I don’t mind a challenge.”

San stopped. “Actually, maybe it’s better if I go back.” 

Before he could escape, Wooyoung grabbed his arm. “I’m joking”, he laughed, “Chill. I don’t want a boyfriend right now, either. I’m busy enough as it is.”

San didn’t know whether he was lying, and he didn’t know Wooyoung well enough to be able to read his expression. But his smile seemed honest if a little forced, and that was probably because San had been ready to bail on him two seconds ago. So despite his reservations, he nodded and continued walking.

“Sorry”, he offered, but Wooyoung didn’t acknowledge it, so San looked for another topic. “What’s got you so busy then?”

“Studying, mostly. We need to get over the street, it’s right there.” Wooyoung bumped into San’s side to get him to walk in the right direction. “I didn’t do well enough on my midterms so my parents hired a tutor for me. And I’m helping organize a fundraiser for a company my dad wants me to intern at. And I’ve got my channel, too. Oh, I hope there’s still room for us.”

Wooyoung walked through the open door first. All the windows were open onto the street, and the restaurant smelled of sharp spices and grilled meat. Most of the round tables were full, and the chefs in the open kitchen were working busily.

“Should we get our food to go?” Wooyoung said and eyed the menu hanging by the register.

“Sure. I’ll have whatever you get. You study law, right?”

“Corporate”, Wooyoung affirmed, then ordered for them before turning back to San. “How did you know?”

“Um, you must have mentioned it.” He often complained about it on his channel and jokingly threatened to sue anytime one of his videos was demonetized. “Do you like it?”

“I guess.” Wooyoung paid, and they were told to wait outside. When they stepped back out onto the street, Wooyoung said, “I’ll get a real job out of it. My parents don’t think making Youtube videos will last.”

“You shouldn’t care about what they think.”

“Of course I care; they’re my parents.”

“So? Parents can be assholes too.”

Wooyoung tilted his head, and he resembled a puppy when he did so, big eyes dark and hair wavy. “Are yours?”

“Probably.” San watched the passing people so that he wouldn’t have to meet Wooyoung’s gaze. Everyone seemed to be excited for the weekend, dressed to go clubbing or just loosening their ties after a long day of work, and San wished he could get a drink too. “Any plans for the weekend?”

“Too many and none of them fun”, Wooyoung said and slumped against the wall next to San. “If I have the time I’m going to see Yeosang. He morphed into his cat, did you hear? It’s a perfect fit, honestly.”

“Actually, I finally morphed too.”

Wooyoung pushed himself off the wall with an excited smile. “Really? To what?”

“A panther”, San said nonchalantly. Wooyoung’s eyes widened, and his awe tugged at the corners of San’s lips. His reaction made San feel proud, and his chest was warm in a way it hadn’t been when he’d revealed his animal to Jongho and Mingi.

“Seriously? How did you manage to find a panther? That’s so cool!”

“I visited the zoo.”

“Wow. But also: Asshole! You should have invited me.” Wooyoung punched him on the arm, and San grabbed his hand before he could do it again. Wooyoung’s pout was adorable. He didn’t try to hit San again, but their fingers remained intertwined. “How is it to be a panther?”

“It was pretty cool.” San smiled, absentmindedly turning one of the rings on Wooyoung’s fingers with his thumb. “I couldn’t do much. Didn’t want anyone to see me and call the cops. But yeah, it was cool.”

“I’m so jealous”, Wooyoung mumbled. “I want another animal too. Being a puppy is useless. I mean, it’s super fun to play and stuff, but I’m so clumsy and my attention span is worse than it is as a human—I think that’s our food.”

He took the paper bag from the waiter who handed it out through the door, and as he stepped away San realized they’d been holding hands and let go. Wooyoung didn’t seem to notice. He began walking back toward the shooting range and glanced over his shoulder when San was slow to follow.

“Let’s find a bench somewhere”, he said. “And while we eat, you can suggest cool animals to me. I don’t want to be stuck as a puppy.”

San lengthened his stride until he was by Wooyoung’s side. “I like the puppy.”

“It is cute”, Wooyoung conceded. “But so am I. I need something more impressive. Cute isn’t going to get me anywhere. A wolf maybe? A wolf would be impressive. Or an eagle. Or…”

San smiled while Wooyoung listed animals and ignored the urge to take his hand again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u r not following me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/thetamburlaine1) u r missing out on my blurps for each chapter
> 
> let me know what u think, a bored author needs some feedback to function!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being a day late, i was hungover from the heat.

Making the last bit of the journey to Yeosang’s place as animals probably wasn’t the most responsible thing to do but it was definitely the most fun. He still lived with his parents, in a bigger house outside the city center where every other block was a park and all the houses were surrounded by tall hedges. The sun had already set and the streets were empty, and if anyone approached them, San could hear them long before they could be seen.

A panther’s senses still amazed him even after morphing into one a few times. He could see and hear everything, and there was no need to ask for directions or check the address to Yeosang’s; he could hear the music playing several blocks away.

Jongho was walking behind him. As a gorilla, he towered over San, and his steps were heavy. Mingi had wanted to morph into the elephant, but San and Jongho had managed to talk him out of it. The capuchin monkey was so much smaller than Jongho’s gorilla, and Mingi chose to ride on Jongho’s back instead of walking himself, wary of San’s panther.

Completely unreasonably, San thought. He had only tried to eat Mingi  _ once _ .

San turned to cut through a park to get to Yeosang’s house. The earth was soft underneath his paws. The flowers planted in the middle of the park filled the air with a sweet scent, but through it, San could still smell the chemicals used to keep the bugs away.

Mingi chattered, but San couldn’t understand him. He’d realized he could still understand human speech, but both morphed people and actual animals just made unintelligible sounds. San growled back, nevertheless, because he liked the way it felt. He was carrying their clothes in a bag in his mouth, and the cloth muffled the sound.

They were in sight of the party when Mingi leaped off Jongho’s shoulder and ran into the well-maintained hedge. San followed him, pressing close to the ground so that he could crawl through. The branches scratched his back pleasantly.

On the other side, Mingi had already morphed back and was crouching in the shadows, arms across his chest.

“Gimme my clothes”, he whispered, and San dropped the bag. He snapped his teeth when Mingi reached for it and grinned when Mingi jerked his hand back. San morphed and laughed.

“Relax. You’re only appetizing as a monkey.”

“Asshole”, Mingi grumbled and emptied the contents of the bag onto the ground. The hedge rustled when Jongho in human form crawled through it.

“I couldn’t fit as the gorilla”, he said and reached for his shirt. “I hope nobody saw us. Hongjoong wouldn’t be happy about this.”

San zipped up his jeans. “Nah. Besides, I doubt anyone even knows we have these powers.”

“Yeah”, Mingi agreed, standing up already fully dressed. “Nobody’s looking for us. The hyungs stress too much.”

San pulled on a black t-shirt and dragged his fingers through his hair a couple of times. The night was so much darker through his human eyes, but the music coming from the house was more bearable. The adrenaline was still pumping, and he wanted to get inside, get a drink, and maybe find someone to spend his energy with.

Apparently, despite it having been in November almost half a year ago, they were celebrating Wooyoung’s birthday.

“His parents don’t know that he drinks so they won’t let him throw a party”, Yeosang explained after letting them inside. The foyer was as big as San and Yunho’s entire apartment. “This is the first weekend mine are gone—it’s their anniversary—so this is the first chance we’ve had to celebrate properly.”

“His parents sound fun”, San commented, eyes scanning the dancing crowd in the living room. There were more people spilling out from the kitchen, people he had seen around college, and he didn’t need a panther’s hearing to pick out Wooyoung’s laugh over the music. “I’m going to get a drink.”

The kitchen was big enough to not feel crowded despite the number of people in it. San nodded in greeting to the few students he recognized from some of his courses but didn’t stop until he was by the sink. It had been filled with drinks and ice cubes, and he grabbed a bottle without looking at the label, then stepped to the side and bumped into Wooyoung.

“Sor—San-ah! You made it.” Wooyoung threw his arms around San’s neck, and San wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him. “It’s my birthday!”

“It is?” San teased. Wooyoung’s cheeks were rosy from the alcohol. He had a sparkling tiara nestled in his hair, and there was a wet stain on the front of his white button-up in the shade of the red punch San had seen on his way over. “Congratulations.”

“Did you get me a present?”

“Maybe. You’ll just have to wait like a good boy and see.”

Wooyoung pouted, still clinging to San, and San didn’t mind. He had found just what he had come looking for. He put the bottle he had grabbed from the sink onto the table to better hold onto Wooyoung.

“Stop it with the puppy jokes”, Wooyoung whined.

“Why? You don’t want to be a good boy for me tonight?”

“Well”, Wooyoung said, suddenly a smirk on his lips, and leaned closer to whisper against San’s ear, “I don’t know. I am feeling a little disobedient.”

San was a second away from kissing the smirk off his lips when Wooyoung stepped away.

“I promised to do shots with my friends but come find me later”, he said, so clearly pleased with himself. “Enjoy the party, San-ah.” With that, he turned around and rejoined the people he had been chatting with leaving San both amused and turned on.

And even though San was impatient, he could wait. He knew he would get what he had come for before the night was over. So he didn’t go after Wooyoung, instead he grabbed the bottle he had discarded and opened it before returning to the living room.

He couldn’t spot Mingi or Jongho, but Yunho waved at him from the couch. San shrugged inwardly and weaved his way through the dance floor to join him. Yunho wasn’t alone; Hongjoong and Seonghwa were there with him, an open bottle of wine on the table in front of them.

“What’s up?” San greeted and sat on the edge of the couch.

“Mingi spilled that you came here morphed”, Hongjoong said. He was the one who had created the group chat for them so that they could easily talk about morphing and the institute. San had muted it right away, tired of both the gushing and the daily warnings to be careful. Despite Yunho’s careful investigation, they still knew as much about the Institute and the liquid that had given them their powers as they’d done in the beginning. “What if someone saw you?”

San huffed and raised his bottle. “Nobody did. I’d have heard them.”

Seonghwa raised an immaculately picked eyebrow. “You’d hear someone looking out through a window?”

“Whatever. We were careful.”

“You have to be if we want this to remain a secret. Isn't that what you wanted?” Yunho said. He wasn’t being an asshole about it, but San still felt chastised.

“Fine.”

“Maybe you should have picked something less conspicuous if you wanted to morph often”, Hongjoong said. “No one would look twice at a cat walking down the street.”

“That’s what you got?”

“Yes. And a rabbit. I didn’t really plan on it, but one of my friends has one as a pet so I thought why not. Its hearing is incredible.”

Even though they were surrounded by people, the loud music and the dozens of ongoing conversations around them made it feel like no one could hear their conversation. But when Seungkwan, a loud sociology major who tended to be the center of every party, joined them, they were reminded of where they were. San took a sip of his beer and mused that despite their constant urging to be vigilant, neither Hongjoong nor Seonghwa was very secretive about morphing either.

“Hello everyone!” Seungkwan hollered and made space for himself on the couch. “How’s it going? We are going to play a round of Flip Cup in the dining room and need a few more people. Care to join us?”

“Sure, hyung”, Yunho agreed immediately, and Seungkwan grinned and bounced up on his feet.

“Great. Into the kitchen then—let’s go!”

“We’re going to finish our bottle first but maybe we’ll join you later.” Hongjoong filled up he and Seonghwa’s glasses, and not for the first time, San wondered if they were dating. He nodded and got up to follow Yunho. Seungkwan was talking to some girls on the dance floor cajoling them into joining as well. When he got to the dining room, San wasn’t surprised to find Mingi standing on one side of the table, ready to play.

The game was loud and fast-paced, and San lost all concept of time as he cheered his teammates on until it was his turn to empty his cup and flip it. It wasn’t until they’d played so many rounds that San was drunk enough to struggle with getting his cup to do a full flip that he decided to quit playing. He didn’t want to get too drunk.

Nobody noticed when he stepped away from the table, somebody else taking his place right away. San would have told Mingi he was leaving, but Mingi was focused on filling everyone’s cups for another round with Seungkwan shouting in his ear to pour in just a little bit more, so San headed to the kitchen without a word.

He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. More people had arrived in the last hours, and the ice in the sink was mostly water by now. San was pretty sure the music was louder, and as a consequence, the conversations were too. He found Jongho chatting with a girl San didn’t know in the living room, both of them nearly screaming to be heard.

“How’s it going?” San threw his arm around Jongho’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Alright”, Jongho grinned in reply. “It’s a good party.”

“Yeah. Do you know where everyone is?” San could see Yunho on the makeshift dance floor, and Hongjoong and Seonghwa were still on the couch, now doing shots with some people San didn’t recognize, but he was only really interested in finding—

“Wooyoung is outside. Or he was ten minutes ago.”

“Thanks.”

“Have fun”, Jongho said and wiggled his eyebrows.

“We will.” But he hadn’t forgotten about their conversation in front of the metro station and what Jongho had said about dating, so he added, just to make clear, “Just for tonight.”

He left before Jongho could say anything else and passed through the living room and out onto the patio. It was huge, lit with strings of light bulbs and lights hidden in the rose bushes. There were people passing around a bong over at the couches, and a game of cards going on by the table, and by the steps that lead into a well-maintained garden, San spotted Wooyoung.

His tiara was askew on the top of his head, and his eyes sparkled in the dark, and San stopped at his side and wondered how he could look so pretty still.

“Found you”, San said and offered him the water bottle. He nodded a greeting to Yeosang, who had hiked himself up on the railing and was holding a whole bottle of champagne. Actual champagne, San suspected.

“Took you long enough”, Wooyoung teased and emptied half the bottle in one. “Yeosang-ah won’t give me back my champagne.”

“How mean.”

Yeosang raised an eyebrow. “I thought I should try to stop him from getting too drunk. He mentioned you two had plans.”

“We do?” San couldn’t help but tease, delighted by the pout on Wooyoung’s shiny lips. He didn’t seem to be any drunker than San was; happy and relaxed and a little loud, but nothing worse.

“I guess I’ll find someone else to play with then”, Wooyoung said and turned around as if looking for someone, but San grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

“No you won’t”, he said and tugged Wooyoung against him. Wooyoung used to momentum to close the last inches between them and smash his lips against San’s. San’s hands gripped his waist and held him still, held him close, made sure that he couldn’t think about finding anyone else.

Wooyoung’s kisses tasted like champagne, and San licked into his mouth hungrily having waited for this at least an entire night, if not longer. Wooyoung’s arms wrapped around his neck, and San stumbled forward, lips never leaving Wooyoung’s until Wooyoung’s back hit the railing and San couldn’t get any closer to him.

“Okay, fine, fine!” Yeosang groaned, and not even that was enough to make them part. San scraped his teeth along Wooyoung’s bottom lip and enjoyed the whine it pulled out of him. Yeosang slapped both of them on the shoulder. “You can use the guest room, just  _ please _ stop making out in front of me.”

“Thanks, Yeosang-ah”, San managed to get out, then returned to devouring Wooyoung’s mouth.

Wooyoung guided their stumbling way to the right room. San didn’t let go of him, palming his ass through his jeans, and Wooyoung’s mouth was attached to his neck the whole way. San mumbled excuses to the people they bumped into but he didn’t stop or care to check who they were, didn’t give a fuck about anything else but Wooyoung and getting him somewhere private.

Neither of them managed to reach for the light switch before they had stumbled past it. San barely had time to kick the door shut behind them before Wooyoung pulled him toward the bed. Wooyoung was tugging at his shirt to get it off him, and San chuckled before pinning his wrists to the bed.

“So impatient. I thought you were going to be good?” He leaned his head down, and Wooyoung bared his neck so that San could work a dark bruise into his skin, high enough for everyone to see.

“I—ahh, I never made any promises.”

San hummed and pulled away to admire his work. To be honest, he was impatient as well, and they were both wearing too many clothes. He let go of Wooyoung’s wrists and said, “Stay.”

Wooyoung obeyed, hands remaining on the covers above his head, his eyes fixed on San as he got off the bed and began undressing. San pulled his shirt off slowly, enjoying Wooyoung’s hungry gaze, and tossed it on the floor. He then made quick work of Wooyoung’s belt and jeans, tugging them down together with his boxers. Most of the buttons on Wooyoung’s blouse were unbuttoned, so San didn’t bother getting it off him.

“I’ve got condoms”, Wooyoung said, eyes still fixed on San’s bare chest. “In my jeans.”

San grinned. “So do I.” He pulled them out of his pocket together with a packet of lube, tossed them on the bed, then finally got out of his jeans and rejoined Wooyoung on the bed. Wooyoung’s hands immediately smoothed down his chest, and San didn’t comment on it because the touch made shivers race down his spine.

“Fuck me then, San-ah.”

“With relish.”

Wooyoung was loud when San opened him up, barely able to stay still and only seemed to twist around more when San suggested tying him up. San’s hair was a mess with the way Wooyoung kept tugging at it, but if San pulled his fingers out, Wooyoung whined until he inched them back inside.

“I’m ready”, Wooyoung moaned just as San finished sucking another hickey into his thigh. San licked a stripe up his cock, mind fuzzy with how turned on he was, and removed his fingers. His grip was slippery so opening the condom packet took a short forever, but when San finally pushed inside, lube-slick fingers clutching Wooyoung’s thighs, time stopped.

San’s heart was beating against his rib cage, and he was breathing heavily as if he had run a marathon to get to where he was. He stayed still to let Wooyoung adjust to the stretch, but Wooyoung squirmed under him, trying to work San in deeper, and San lost his patience.

“I wanted to take my time with you”, he said and pressed Wooyoung’s thighs toward his chest for better leverage. “Maybe next time, hmm?”

Neither said a word after that, but the silence was full with their breaths, with the slap of skin against skin, with Wooyoung’s moans. San clenched his teeth as he fucked him, his whole body on fire, every muscle taught, and every cell feeling so fucking alive.

He felt as alive as he did when he morphed.

Wooyoung tugged him into a kiss as he came. San chased his own release, licking Wooyoung’s moans off his lips as he made sure Wooyoung would feel him for days to come. When he came, he stilled, chest still heaving and mind blank.

No one-night-stand had ever felt this good.

The thought made him pull out and flop onto the bed next to Wooyoung. He should get up. He should get dressed and leave.

Wooyoung snuggled into his side with a deep sigh.

“I should go.” San had to clear his throat before he got the words out. Wooyoung peppered soft kisses on his chest, and it felt good, and San’s heart was still hammering away in his chest like it would never calm down again.

“Not yet, San-ah.” Wooyoung settled his head in the crook of San’s neck. “Let’s just lie here for a moment. I’m too tired to move.” San curled his arm around him and held him closer. His heartbeat settled.

“Okay. But just for a moment.”

It was six in the evening and San was pretty sure that he was still hungover. Thankfully, it had been a quiet Sunday. Most of their customers had been regulars who didn’t need instructing and preferred to be left alone, so his shift had consisted of walking past the booths and manning the front counter and trying not to think about how he had slept the whole night with Wooyoung curled against his side.

San had been about to nod off in front of the computer when the door was pushed open. He straightened his back and blinked his eyes, stale customer service smile already on his lips before his eyes landed on the stranger.

It was one of those neat businessmen who liked to come and feel powerful for an hour with a gun in their hand. He was tall and broad-shouldered, and his eyes were as dark as his suit, intensely fixed on San above his silver-rimmed glasses.

“Welcome. What can I help you with?” San greeted and stood up. The man still towered above him, and San tried not to show his unease, unable to explain why the man’s gaze made him shudder.

“What’s your name?”

“Um, Choi San. Sir.”

“Well, San-ah. This is my first time here, but I’ve heard you have a decent selection of firearms. I’m looking to try something powerful.”

“Powerful?”

“Yes. Something that could take down a big animal.” San’s eyes widened, and his heart started hammering in his chest. The man stared him down unflinchingly. “A gun powerful enough to kill a… a panther, let’s say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun
> 
> so much is happening and i'd love to hear what u guys think abt it all ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ i know i'm hype but i hope someone else is too.
> 
> oh yeah my beta is 25% responsible for the grease reference so blame her


	8. Chapter 8

They were all gathered in San and Yunho’s apartment around the low table in the living room: Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Jongho on the couch, Yunho on the chair he had dragged out of his room and Mingi on the one from San’s room, Yeosang and Wooyoung perched on the kitchen counter. But San was too restless to sit down, instead standing in front of the TV, arms crossed and trying not to feel uncomfortable with everyone’s eyes on him as he talked.

“He didn’t say anything else but I swear he knows.”

“Do you know who he was?” Hongjoong asked.

Even though they had been full of questions when they arrived, they had all listened without interrupting once San got started. San had texted their group chat for the first time immediately when the man had left the shooting range. He had still had two hours left of his shift and they had passed tortuously slowly, but by the time he got home, everyone was already there waiting for him.

“He had to sign a waiver before he could shoot so I got his name, but I didn’t recognize it. Choi Minho?”

Yunho shrugged his shoulders. “Doesn’t ring any bells.”

Yeosang had already pulled out his phone. Wooyoung had pushed his feet underneath Yeosang’s thighs and kept wiggling them, but Yeosang didn’t look away from the screen. San tried not to look at Wooyoung too much either.

“There are so many hits, give me a sec, I’ll add the Institute, just… Okay, I found one.” Yeosang turned his phone toward San. San walked closer to better see the picture, and he only needed a second to confirm that it was the man that had approached him at work. He nodded and paced back to his spot without looking at Wooyoung.

“Who is he?”

“He’s an investor. There are a few articles of him in connection with the Institute. He’s funded research and done some donations.”

“Shit”, Mingi said.

San nodded in agreement. Somehow, somebody knew about them. About  _ him _ . And the way the man had introduced himself made San certain that it wasn’t a good thing.

“So what do we do know?” Jongho asked frowning. “Should we try reaching out to him?”

“It sounded like he was threatening to kill San-ah”, Wooyoung said, and San turned to look at him before he could remind himself not to. “I don’t think any of us should be anywhere close to that man.”

Wooyoung was wearing a baby blue sweater that looked too big on him, and white jeans that looked too tight. Despite having been at home recovering from a hangover and preparing for the starting week like everyone else, he looked gorgeous. Maybe he had been filming a video, San mused, eyes drawn to the hickey on his neck. Would it be visible on camera?

When he looked back up, Wooyoung was looking at him. San dropped his gaze. He usually kept his distance from people he slept with for a while so that they wouldn’t get the wrong idea, but he had already done so many things differently with Wooyoung. He shouldn’t have fallen asleep next to him, and when they woke up at noon and Wooyoung asked if he wanted breakfast, he shouldn’t have said yes.

But they had gotten coffees, Wooyoung had walked him to work and San had probably been drunk still because he had been laughing so much, and he had felt good about making Wooyoung laugh too, and he had hugged him back when they’d said goodbye.

The hangover, and the fear, and the doubts had come later.

“I think we should try to figure out how much they know”, Seonghwa said and pulled San out of his thoughts.

Yunho rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ve been trying, but I don’t have access to anything big picture. And I don’t want to get caught snooping. I don’t want to be fired.”

“Could you sneak somebody else in, hyung?” Jongho asked. “If someone morphed into something small, like an insect or something. They wouldn’t be caught.”

“I can do it. I’ve morphed into a beetle a couple of times.” San tried not to show his surprise when Seonghwa offered to essentially break into the Institution and spy on them. He had never expected Seonghwa to be anything more than the studious architect major he appeared to be.

“But if they know about us”, Hongjoong said, “won’t they be on the lookout for any animals? It could be dangerous.”

Yunho cleared his throat. “Well, based on what San said, I think it’s dangerous already.”

After everyone had left, San unmuted their group chat. In the following days, the gushing had lessened, most of the messages now being between Yunho and Seonghwa planning their heist, as Jongho had dubbed it, and Hongjoong occasionally reminding them to be careful. Yeosang had taken it upon himself to research Choi Minho and his connection to the Institute, but besides a few articles, he couldn’t find much.

San felt useless and increasingly guilty for having caused the whole thing in the first place. The others had encouraged him to lay low while they tried to figure out how much the Institute knew, so he went to his classes, to work, and the gym, and spent the time in between rewatching Wooyoung’s old videos to distract himself.

Against everyone’s advice, when he finished his last class on Thursday, San had made up his mind. Despite the hours he had spent at the gym the previous night, he was full of restless energy. His knee had been bouncing under the table the whole lecture. He needed to morph just so that he wouldn’t do anything even stupider.

He was crossing the quad in front of the social sciences building when he spotted Wooyoung. Wooyoung was sitting on the edge of a flower bed staring at the takeaway coffee cup he was clutching in his hands, face blank. Something in his expression and the slump of his shoulders made San change directions and walk straight to him.

“Hi”, he said and sat down next to him. “What’s up?”

Wooyoung glanced at him before looking down. He frowned when he noticed the dents he had squeezed into his cup. He put it down and put on a pale smile.

“I just got out of class. Was thinking about getting lunch.”

“Okay.” San waited for Wooyoung to laugh and jokingly complain about a demanding professor or something, maybe hug him or ask if he wanted to join him for lunch. When he did none of those things, San picked up Wooyoung’s bag, threw it over his shoulder, and stood up. “There’s a bagel place a few blocks away. Let’s go.”

Wooyoung blinked at him in surprise before the hint of a genuine smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

“Okay.”

They walked, too far away from each other for their swinging arms to touch, and for once, Wooyoung was quiet. It bothered San, who in turn did his best to fill the silence with whatever crossed his mind: the early lectures, the complicated assignments, and the hijinks of his coworkers.

The bagel café was on the second floor, squeezed in between a bubble tea place and a cat café.

“Wooyoung-ah, what do you want?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re getting.”

San ordered them his favorite and paid for them too. He had already swiped his card when he realized what he was doing but one glance at Wooyoung, who was staring vacantly at the potted fern in the corner, dulled the worry that this was too much like a date.

They got their bagels to go, and San remembered that Wooyoung had once mentioned that he loved bubble tea in one of his videos, so he bought those too from the place next door. They took the stairs back down to the street and walked until they reached a park. Most of it was dominated by a skatepark, and from the bench that they settled down on, they could watch kids rolling over the concave walls on skateboards.

With his mouth full of bread and salmon, it was hard to talk, and San chewed hurriedly so that he could stop the silence from becoming too suffocating. Wooyoung was watching a girl with pads on her knees and elbows rush back and forth in the bowl. San remembered that he had tried to skateboard in one of his videos and failed miserably.

San swallowed and said, “I could teach you sometime. If you want to try that again.”

“Again?” Wooyoung smiled when the girl flipped her skateboard without falling.

“Yeah. I mean, you tried before. In one of your videos.”

Wooyoung wiped cream cheese from the corner of his mouth and glanced at San with a smile. “So you have watched them.”

“It was an accident”, San said, but he was grinning, and he supposed he didn’t mind that Wooyoung knew. Not when it made him smile. “I’ll admit, it was pretty funny.”

“Thanks”, Wooyoung said. As quickly as it had appeared, the smile fell from his lips. He looked at his half-finished bagel and sighed. “I was offered an internship today.”

“Oh. Congratulations, Youngie-yah.”

“It’s for next summer. The whole summer with one of my mother’s associates. It’s a really good law firm and it’s great experience. I’m really lucky.”

Carefully, sensing that this was what had been bothering Wooyoung, San said, “You sound like a pamphlet they’d hand out.”

“Yeah, well. It’s true.”

“Shouldn’t you be a bit happier then?”

“I should.” Wooyoung frowned. “It’s just… It’s a full-time thing. I won’t have time to film videos for my channel that often. And the firm specializes in corporate law which is honestly the most boring version of law.”

“Aren’t they all?”

Wooyoung huffed. “Yeah, they are.”

“Then say no. You don’t have to take it.” San would have been overjoyed for an opportunity like that. All he wanted was a job like that, one that would give him enough money to be wholly independent and a chance to prove himself. But he suspected that for Wooyoung, this internship meant the opposite of independence.

“No. I can’t. I have to take it.” Wooyoung sighed and put his bagel down. “My parents would be angry if I didn’t.”

San crumpled up the wrapper and tossed it in the paper bag with the bagel place’s cheerful logo. “They don’t… Have they ever…” San rubbed his arm, “Would they hurt you if you said no?”

Wooyoung shook his head quickly. “Of course not. They love me.”

San thought about his second foster family. They clearly hadn’t loved him. At least the feeling had been mutual, and San had run away after five months.

“Then what?”

“They’d probably take away my filming equipment, I guess. And… I don’t know, just, is it possible to be under constant surveillance and be ignored at the same time? That’s how it feels most of the time.”

“It is.” San took a big gulp of his bubble tea. The shouts and laughter of the kids in the bowl echoed off its walls, but San still felt like his voice was louder. “I don’t want your pity or anything, but I grew up in the foster care system. My fourth family was like that. They were used to foster kids so they had really strict rules about everything. And they only cared that we followed them.”

“Oh.” Wooyoung placed his hand on San’s thigh, and after a second’s hesitation, San placed his own on top of his. “I didn’t know.”

“I don’t usually tell anyone.” He didn’t, and he didn’t quite understand why he kept talking. “That’s how I met Jongho and Mingi. We stayed with that family at the same time. It was my last, and Mingi’s too. Jongho got through two more before he could move out on his own.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Wooyoung bit his lip and asked hesitantly, “What about your parents?”

“My dad left before I turned one, and I was five when my mother left me in front of a police station. I don’t really remember them so it’s fine.”

“Fuck. I shouldn’t be complaining.” Wooyoung rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and San wondered why he had gotten teary-eyed. He interlaced his fingers with Wooyoung’s and squeezed.

“I was just trying to say that I know how you feel. You are allowed to feel bad.”

“Don’t you?”

“No.”

“How?”

Being left was inevitable. San had learned it, and maybe he had been too young, but he would never forget it now. People always left him, it was just a matter of time, and it was obvious that what Wooyoung wanted the most was to leave too.

“I ignored them back”, San said and tried to smile. Wooyoung laughed wetly and dropped his head on San’s shoulder.

“I don’t think I could do that”, he admitted.

He fell quiet, and San watched one of the boys in the bowl fall. His board rolled to the bottom, wheels loud against the concrete. When Wooyoung spoke again, San could hear a smile in his voice. “You know, I feel really happy that we accidentally got the morphing powers. Even though I still just have the puppy, and it’s pretty useless honestly, not like your panther or Yunho’s bird, I really like it.”

San hummed. “Me too. It makes me feel strong.”

“It makes me feel happy.”

The boy had picked up his board and climbed out of the bowl. He got back on it and dove down the slope making it successfully to the other side this time. San smiled when he cheered. Wooyoung’s shoulders moved when he chuckled, and that made San smile even wider.

“We should morph together someday, Sannie-yah. Go somewhere where we aren’t caught. Just the two of us.”

“Okay. Yeah. Let’s do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad bois :(
> 
> sorry abt not posting on time, i was tired & thought that my like 3 readers would forgive me. u guys are the best.
> 
> lemme know what u thought? pls?
> 
> and thanks to the peeps on [twitter](https://twitter.com/thetamburlaine1) who help me solve the toughest problems like who in ateez would be the best at googling (o_ _)ﾉ彡☆ u r the bestest


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone at the Institute knows about this group of college kids being able to morph into animals and they need to find out whether they are in danger. San kind of wants to take care of Wooyoung and maybe thinks about him a lot but he swears he doesn't like him, and Wooyoung feels trapped in his life.
> 
> And that's what you missed on Skyscrapers.

To prove that he didn’t have a crush on Wooyoung, San volunteered to hook up with someone from the Institute. The others argued that he didn’t  _ have  _ to sleep with anyone to get the information they needed, that a coffee date would do, but San was adamant that his way was the most effective. And because Yeosang’s online research had come up with nothing useful about the Institute and Yunho kept getting blocked by his low-security clearance, they were in desperate need of someone else on the inside. 

Seonghwa was still prepared to morph into a beetle and break-in, but they agreed that trying San’s plan first was probably safer.

Yunho had sent the group chat a picture of Kim Chungha, a researcher working toward her doctorate who was both single and directly involved with the development section of the Institute. She left work around seven most days, so on Thursday when San didn’t have to be at the gun range, he took the metro downtown. Leaning against the dark window of a closed IT shop across the street, San sipped on his coffee and watched the entrance of the Institute. With sunglasses on, it was easier to stare without getting caught.

Wooyoung tugged on the other end of the leash San had wrapped around his wrist. Another dog walked past them, and Wooyoung wagged his tail at the Pomeranian. The dog skipped past without casting a glance at the excited puppy, and the old man ignored San’s greeting nod.

“Focus”, San murmured once they were out of earshot. Wooyoung glared at him and sat down, head turned toward the entrance to the Institute and back toward San.

The only other thing Yunho knew about Chungha was that she owned a dog, hence Wooyoung’s presence. San had tried to protest feeling that it was counterproductive to the statement he was trying to make to spend the stakeout with Wooyoung, but eventually, he'd had to concede that a dog was the perfect icebreaker.

For some reason though, Wooyoung had seemed even more unhappy about his inclusion. He had been grumpy since they met up earlier at San’s so that he could morph without being seen. Even as a puppy, all his tail-wagging and excited yelps were directed at everyone else but San. 

Not that San cared. It was just confusing. He thought they’d become almost sort of friends, maybe, after their non-date at the skatepark. 

A couple of children in neat school uniforms stopped to pet the puppy and gush about how cute it was. Wooyoung preened under the attention, and San agreed with the kids, too caught up with fighting his smile at Wooyoung’s antics to notice Chungha when she stepped outside. He glanced up and caught a glimpse of her profile before she turned to walk in the opposite direction.

“Shit, Wooyoung-ah, it’s her.” San tugged on the leash to make Wooyoung stop jumping at the kids. “We’ve got to go. Sorry, kids.”

Running up to her would be too suspicious. San wanted their meeting to appear accidental. He had half-planned to bump into her, but that would have required her to walk in their direction. Maybe they should have done more reconnaissance, San thought, then let go of the leash.

“Go, Youngie-yah.”

Wooyoung didn’t even look at him before running away, and for a second San worried that he was too caught up in being a dog and wouldn’t realize that they had a mission. San started running, zigzagging between people that barely missed stepping on Wooyoung’s leash as it dragged along the concrete after him.

When Wooyoung caught up to Chungha, he barked and cut in front of her. She stopped, and he began jumping at her feet, tail wagging. She crouched down and grabbed his collar, her other hand scratching him behind the ear, and looked around.

San waved his hand and tried to keep his breathing even as he jogged up to them.

“Sorry, he got away.”

Chungha laughed, and she was even more gorgeous than she’d been in the picture Yunho had sent. Easily, a bashful smile spread on San’s face as he crouched down too.

“Wouldn’t think a puppy could outrun you”, Chungha said.

San picked up Wooyoung’s leash and pet his head, and his fingers brushed the back of Chungha’s hand as he did so.

“He caught me by surprise. Thank you for catching him..?”

“Chungha.” She stood, and San did as well. “He’s very cute.”

“Thank you, Chungha-ssi. I haven’t had him for long and he still has to learn some manners.” Wooyoung yapped and bumped his head against San’s shin. To San, it was obviously not dog-like behavior, but Chungha laughed.

“I understand. My dog Bambi is already an adult but still behaves like a puppy.”

“You’ve got a dog too?” San feigned delighted surprise. Wooyoung had walked as far off as the leash allowed and begun pulling on it, apparently done with the conversation. San glanced at him—they still had their  _ mission _ —but Wooyoung ignored him. “Maybe we could go to the dog park sometime, Chungha-ssi? Together? You could help me train him.”

“Sure”, Chungha agreed, and San waited for the joy he expected to feel as she pulled out her phone. But he didn’t feel any different. Shouldn’t he be happy that this gorgeous woman had agreed on a date with him? Sure, it was for reconn, but San hadn’t been out with anyone in weeks.

Well, except for Wooyoung. But that didn’t count.

“Give me your number and I’ll text you.”

“Alright. Here you go.” San had to switch Wooyoung’s leash to his other hand to be able to type, but Wooyoung kept pulling just to make it harder. San kept smiling though, and Chungha left with a smile too, and Wooyoung sat down, nose turned up in a very un-dog-like demeanor.

“What’s wrong with you?” San whispered and crouched down. “Why are you being moody? We succeeded.” Wooyoung’s eyes were big and dark and reproachful, and San almost felt guilty for asking and getting her number. “It was the plan.”

A shadow fell over them. Before San could look up, the source of it, a tall man in a black suit, leaned down and picked Wooyoung up. Wooyoung was tiny in his hands, and his grip was tight enough to stop Wooyoung from wiggling free. San stood, swallowed down the sudden panic clawing at his throat, and tried not to let it show on his face.

“Isn’t this a cute puppy”, Choi Minho drawled and scratched Wooyoung behind the ear, completely disinterested in his attempts to get away. “Is it yours?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Haven’t we met? Yes. Choi San from the gun range. What a coincidence, running into you right in front of my work.”

San tried a light chuckle, heart beating rapidly in his chest and his fingers itching to rip Wooyoung from Minho’s hands. “Oh. You work here?”

“I have investments here”, Minho replied off-handedly, then said, just as calm, “Lately, I’ve been thinking about getting a pet. I would prefer something strong rather than cute.” He held Wooyoung up to inspect him. Wooyoung wiggled in his grip and managed to sink his teeth into Minho’s thumb. Minho smiled and forced his mouth open easily. Wooyoung’s teeth had barely left indentations in his skin. “Though I suppose most pups eventually grow up.”

He knew. He  _ had _ to know. “Yeah, um, I’ve really got to go though.”

“Do not expect too much of your date with Kim Chungha. Every employee at the Institute has signed an NDA.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Minho chuckled and  _ finally _ put Wooyoung down. Wooyoung stumbled over his paws to get to San, and San gathered him in his arms immediately.

“Of course. But in case you do…” Minho reached inside his coat, and for half a second San was afraid he was going to pull out a gun. Instead, he handed San a business card. Black, with neat print: Choi Minho, a phone number, and an email. “In case you want… help of any kind. Reach out.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“As you wish. I’ll be seeing you, San-ah. Take care of your puppy.” Minho glanced at Wooyoung, who growled. Minho chuckled and turned on his heel, gait self-assured as he walked away from them.

San stood frozen still until Wooyoung whined and pushed his cold nose against San’s neck.

“Okay, yeah, let’s go.” San didn’t put Wooyoung down.

They needed to tell the others. Minho knew, he definitely knew about them and their ability to morph. He had given his card with the offer to help, but something about him and the way he had looked at Wooyoung made San terrified _. _ He didn’t care what the others would have to say; he wasn’t interested in the kind of help Minho had to offer.

San held Wooyoung in his arms the entire metro ride back to his apartment. Yunho was sitting on the couch in the living room, waiting. He greeted them, but San walked past him without a glance and into his room.

With a whimper, Wooyoung began morphing. San held him until Wooyoung’s arms hugged him back; until there was warm skin instead of soft fur under San’s fingers.

“‘m sorry”, San mumbled into Wooyoung’s skin, face pressed into the crook of his neck. Wooyoung’s breath was warm against his. “I won’t let him touch you ever again.”

“‘m okay”, Wooyoung replied. “San-ah, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

San’s exhale came out shaky. Wooyoung pressed his lips against San’s neck, and when he turned his head, San connected their lips. There was nothing sexual about the kiss, not this time, but it was all-consuming, and while it lasted, San forgot about being scared.

A knock on the door broke the moment.

“San-ah? Wooyoung-ah? Are you okay?”

“We’ll be right out”, Wooyoung replied, and San wondered how he wasn’t more out of breath. He felt like he could barely catch one, himself, chest too full with emotion to have room for oxygen. Wooyoung gazed into San’s eyes, and San couldn’t look away. “Are you okay?”

San swallowed and said, “You should get dressed.”

His hands weren’t shaking anymore when he let go of Wooyoung. Wooyoung nodded, a small smile on his lips, and left San’s arms to get dressed in the clothes he had left on the bed earlier. San clenched his hands into fists to keep reaching out for him. It must be the adrenaline, San thought, leaving his body that was making him feel so unsettled.

With his clothes on again, Wooyoung tilted his head and took San’s hand in his.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, yeah”, San nodded and pulled his hand free. “Let’s go. Yunho is waiting for us.”

The living room smelled of coffee, and there were two cups on the table, a third cradled in Yunho’s hands. He had an open book in his lap, its visible pages covered in graphs and dense text. Yunho waited until Wooyoung had sat down on the couch with him and San had begun pacing before speaking up.

“So? Did you get the date?”

San stared at him until his brain caught up with what Yunho was saying. The original plan; the date with Kim Chungha.

“Yeah, I did. I gave her my number. But that doesn’t matter. I can’t go out with her,”

“Oh?” Yunho’s eyes darted to Wooyoung. “How come?”

“Because the fucking investor who showed up at my work caught us. Choi Minho.” San dragged his fingers through his hair. He felt restless: he needed to morph to take the edge off, or maybe fuck Wooyoung, at least cuddle him to make sure he was okay, or got to the gym and workout until he was too exhausted to pace the living room like he was doing right now. “He knows about us, Yunho-yah. About the morphing powers and probably that I stole the liquid too. He grabbed Wooyoungie and I couldn’t do shit about it!”

Yunho inhaled deeply, face serious. “Calm down, San-ah, it’s—we’ll figure this out. Shit.”

He closed his book and tossed it on the table. It was heavy enough to thud as it landed, and the sound seemed louder because of the tense silence that followed. San glanced at Wooyoung, just to make sure that he was still there and he was unharmed, and found Wooyoung looking at him with a frown.

“You stole the liquid?” he asked quietly, and San stopped pacing. Shit. He opened his mouth to explain, but Yunho beat him to it.

“It doesn’t matter right now. We need to decide what to do.” Yunho pushed one of the coffee cups into Wooyoung’s hands, eyebrows furrowed in thought. “San-ah, maybe you  _ should _ call him. See what he has to offer.”

“No.”

“Maybe it isn’t bad?”

San huffed derisively. “When has a big corporation ever cared about individual people? It’s bad, I promise.”

“I’m not working for  _ monsters _ , San-ah”, Yunho said, and his grip around his cup had tightened. “The Institute is trying to do something good. To save people.”

“They are trying to make money. That’s all they care about.”

“That’s not true. That’s not me; that’s not the people I work with.”

“Sure. But you aren’t the one making the decisions. If they need to lock us in a lab and stick needles in us for the rest of our lives for the greater good, they’ll do it.”

San stared down at Yunho. This was the reason San didn’t get close to people: all it did was cause him anger and fear and he felt so powerless. Yunho shifted on the couch and turned to Wooyoung, and San wanted to turn his back on them just to at least get his own emotions under control, but he couldn’t not look at Wooyoung.

“Wooyoung-ah, what do you think?”

“I don’t know.” Wooyoung swallowed. He looked small, knees drawn up to his chest, chin resting on top of them, gaze settled on his coffee. “I just know I don’t have much control over my life and if we turn ourselves in, I don’t think I’ll have any left at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo...... hi.
> 
> sorry i've been gone, i hope there's someone still left! tbh, the lack of feedback really left me unmotivated to write, but more than that I've been working and it's been summer and stuff.
> 
> but i'm back on my grind now! let's get it!


	10. Chapter 10

Instead of fighting with San, Yunho decided to text the group chat to let everyone else know what had happened. Wooyoung remained curled up on the couch, quietly sipping on his coffee. But San couldn’t stand the silence, and he was still mad at Yunho, and maybe scared too, so he left the apartment.

Once outside, he didn’t know where to go. They lived right next to the college campus; there was nowhere to morph safely, especially not when someone might be watching them. Looking back, going to Yeosang’s party in animal form had been idiotic. A panther, a gorilla, and a monkey stuck out even in the middle of the night wandering around suburbia.

San hadn’t taken his gym clothes or card with him either, and he’d left his wallet too, but just walking around didn’t seem like enough. So he flopped down onto the steps leading to the pavement, to the side so that people could walk past without bothering him. He dropped his chin and closed his eyes; determined to get his thoughts in order and his feelings under control.

The chill of the concrete steps had barely started to seep through his jeans when the door opened and closed behind him. Instead of walking past, someone sat down next to him, and San kind of knew who it was without looking up.

“Are you okay?”

San huffed and hated that his lips automatically twitched into a smile at the sound of Wooyoung’s voice. “I wish you’d stop asking me that.”

“I’ll stop asking when I feel like it.” Wooyoung pushed his hands further into the pockets of his peacoat. “We’re going to meet up with everyone else tomorrow. To decide on stuff. I never thought it would get this serious. But that man… I didn’t get good vibes from him.”

This time, San couldn’t stifle his chuckle. There was something about Wooyoung that made everything feel a little less bad. San wondered if everyone felt that way or if it was just him. He almost hoped for the latter. “I guess you could put it that way.”

Wooyoung hummed, and for a while, they sat in silence. San considered asking Wooyoung to stay the night but he was afraid it would send the wrong message; that Wooyoung would think San  _ wanted _ him like that. San didn’t. It was just getting late and he needed to let off steam and Wooyoung just happened to be here and it had nothing to do with the near-physical need San felt to have Wooyoung close and make sure he was okay and—

“Why’d you do it?” Wooyoung’s quiet question stopped San’s runaway thoughts. “Why did you steal the liquid? Did you know it would give us these… powers?”

San had forgotten about his slip up. He was surprised Wooyoung didn’t sound angry, and relieved as well. He didn’t want Wooyoung to think badly of him, he realized and spoke before he could think about it too much. “No, of course not. I just… I thought it would help Jongho. He’s a chem major and he was so excited. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal, either.”

Again, Wooyoung hummed. San glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and found him looking up at the sky. The sun was setting, and Wooyoung’s skin looked golden in the warm rays of light. Wooyoung caught his eyes and smiled, and San lowered his gaze.

“You know, everyone thinks you’re this arrogant player and that you don’t care about anyone.” Wooyoung bumped their shoulders together. “But I don’t think that’s true. I never thought that. I think that maybe you’d want to be that way but… you’re not.”

“It would be easier.”

“Maybe. Not much fun, though.” Wooyoung took a deep breath and scuffed his shoe on the step below them, and San wondered what had made him so nervous suddenly. He wondered how he could tell that Wooyoung was nervous, and how Wooyoung seemed to know so much about him. Had they really been spending that much time together? Had he started to care?

Wooyoung was both right and wrong. San did care about people, about Jongho and Mingi and maybe even Yunho, but it wasn’t fun. It wasn’t fun at all to fear for them, to be angry at them or have them be angry at him, and wait in fear for the moment they all realized they’d be better off without him. San didn’t want to have to be afraid that Wooyoung would leave too.

Wooyoung cleared his throat. “You know, I wanted to ask you… I uploaded that video last week, the one I filmed at the shooting range with you. Have you watched it?”

“No. Why?”

Wooyoung shrugged. “Just wondering. You mentioned you’d seen some of my stuff.”

“Yeah, well, wasn’t really my type of content.”

“Oh. Okay.” Wooyoung stood, and San pushed his hands under his thighs. He didn’t want to care about Wooyoung, and Wooyoung really shouldn’t care about him. San kept his gaze down even though he could feel Wooyoung’s on him and eventually, Wooyoung sighed. “I should go. My parents will flip if I’m not home for dinner. I’ll see you around.”

San didn’t look up to watch Wooyoung walk away.

“Is there anything we can  _ all  _ agree on?” Hongjoong asked and was met with silence. San crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head away from Yeosang.

It was raining outside, nothing on the other side of the windows but a heavy, grey downpour. San’s hair was still wet. There had been no morphing this time to get to Yeosang’s place, just a long metro ride, an uncomfortable bus ride, and a short walk that still gave the storm enough time to soak them through.

“Sniping at each other isn’t going to get us anywhere.” Seonghwa was sitting on the recliner next to the couch, posture impeccable despite the lumpy chair. San didn’t understand how that was even possible. Wooyoung was sitting at his feet, occasionally poking his thigh to get him to continue the half-hearted massage he’d been roped into. Since when had those two even been close?

“I’m not sniping”, Yeosang said, “I’m just being honest. I think San is being selfish.”

“Yeah, well I think you’re being an—”

“Thanks, San-ah, we got it.” Yunho pressed his palms against his eyes. Since their argument, they hadn’t really spoken to each other. During the journey to Yeosang’s, Yunho had been content reading the same coursebook he’d been pouring over the past days, and San had kept his headphones on. “But we need to do something. I don’t think ignoring the problem is going to make it go away.”

“I agree with San. I don’t want anything to do with those people”, Mingi said, and San turned his gaze from the torrent racing down the window to him. Mingi had a bag of gummy worms in his hands, and Jongho reached into it while nodding.

“Me neither. We just have to destroy all the evidence they’ve got and then lay low for a while. Right, hyungs?”

“And how do we do that?” Hongjoong was standing in front of the TV, de facto chair of their meeting.

“We’d have to destroy the liquid too, the rest of it at the Institute. So that they can’t recreate this right away.”

“No we don’t”, Yunho protested, wide eyes shooting daggers at Mingi. “That’s years of research. We can’t just blow it up.”

“I could”, Jongho said, cheek bulging with gummies. “I took an elective on explosives last year.”

“But  _ why _ ?”

“Because they’d probably rush into human trials now that they know this works”, Mingi said with a shrug. “Even though they don’t really know that. Like, we could all end up dead in a year because of this.”

“That’s a cheerful thought”, Wooyoung said. San didn’t look at him. San didn’t care. San didn’t care that when he had arrived, Wooyoung and Seonghwa had been laughing in the kitchen while they prepared tea for all of them. It was a good thing, really, that Wooyoung was bothering someone else for a change.

Yunho wasn’t able to argue.

“Let’s look into that.” Jongho grinned at Hongjoong’s words. Hongjoong continued before he could get too excited, “ _ Properly _ . We are not blowing up anything unless absolutely necessary. And that won’t take care of the fact that we still don’t know what they know about us and where that information is kept.”

“Are we sure we don’t want to ask for the Institute’s help?” Yeosang asked. “I’d like to not end up dead in a year, to be honest.”

“They can’t undo this”, Hongjoong pointed out, then glanced at Yunho for confirmation. Yunho nodded. “I don’t think becoming a lab rat was a part of any of our five-year plans. But if we start feeling any side-effects, we can always reach out. For now, it’s probably best not to.”

“San got that investor guy’s card. He could set up a meeting and figure out how much they know”, Wooyoung said.

“No.”

“Selfish”, Yeosang muttered, and San was ready to drag him into the kitchen and demand to know what his problem was. What had he ever done to Yeosang?

“You need to, San-ah.” San reluctantly met Hongjoong’s eyes. “We don’t know who else he knows about. We can’t risk him finding out anything more.”

“I could go with him. As a puppy.”

“San can’t just take a puppy with him to the meeting, Wooyoung-ah. That would be suspicious.”

“And I’m not going, so figure out something else, okay?” San pushed himself to his feet. “I’m getting something to drink.” He marched into the kitchen without glancing back.

Why was everyone suddenly turning against him? First Yunho, now Yeosang. This was why he didn’t want friends. San ripped open the fridge door and stared at the row of carbonated water bottles on the top shelf. He didn’t need friends, and he didn’t need Wooyoung with his stupid beautiful smile and his stupid affectionate touches and his—

“Hey. I know you kind of hate me asking this, but like, are you okay?”

San slammed the fridge door shut. “Yes.”

“Okay. You seemed a little tense in there.”

“Maybe I’d be a little more relaxed if I wasn’t being attacked by your best friend all the time.”

“Oh. Yeah. I’m sorry about that.” San could hear Wooyoung walk closer. There was still the kitchen island between them, so San felt brave enough to turn around and face him. Wooyoung tilted his head. “He’s just… blunt.”

That was one way to put it, though San couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was personal. Wooyoung was still watching him, eyes inquisitive and teeth absentmindedly gnawing at his bottom lip. It felt both satisfying and terrifying to have his undivided attention again.

“So you and Seonghwa?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You seem close.”

“We’ve studied together a couple of times. He’s surprisingly fun.”

“I’m sure.”

A grin stretched Wooyoung’s lips wide. “Are you jealous, San-ah?”

“Why would I be jealous?” San huffed and glanced down to avoid Wooyoung’s delighted expression. But it was hard to deny that seeing them hadn’t felt good, not when San was having a shitty day anyway. Or was that the reason he was in a bad mood? He’d been feeling off since Choi Minho laid his hands on Wooyoung. Letting Wooyoung walk away last night had only made it worse.

“Maybe morphing would make you cheer up? We could do that day trip we talked about somewhere outside the city. Hike away from the trails and spend the day as animals, just you and me. I bet that would be safe.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay. Do you want to do something else? I bet I could find some way to make you feel better—”

“No! Wooyoung-ah, I don’t want you to make me feel better. I don’t want you at all. For anything.” San hadn’t meant to raise his voice or cut him off, but couldn’t Wooyoung see that he just made San feel  _ worse _ ? “We fucked once, get over it. I don’t need you following me around like a—like a fucking puppy. Okay?”

Wooyoung wasn’t smiling anymore. “But I… I thought—I hoped…”

“I don’t care. You were wrong. About whatever this is and about me. You should have listened to what everyone was saying.” San didn’t look at him, just walked past him back into the living room. Everyone was staring at him, expressions ranging from shocked to Yeosang’s murderous.

“I’ll call Choi Minho”, San growled out and picked his still wet jacket off the floor. “I’ll figure out what he knows and then I’m out. I don’t want any part of this. You can all do whatever the fuck you want.”

San didn’t wait for a reply. The rain enveloped him the moment he stepped outside, and it took the last remains of his self-control not to morph right then and there. A panther was solitary by nature. A panther wouldn’t be thinking about a boy with tears in his eyes and have its heart aching.

The sounds of running feet and voices calling his name were almost drowned out by the rain. San didn’t stop, kept his head down and shoved his hands further into his pockets. He was almost at the bus stop when Jongho and Mingi cut in front of him.

“What happened, hyung?” Jongho asked between deep breaths. They were both panting, hair plastered to their foreheads.

“Nothing.”

“That didn’t sound like nothing. That sounded like you blowing up on Wooyoung when he was just trying to be nice.”

“I don’t need him to be nice! I need him to stay the fuck away and realize I don’t care.”

“But you do care about him”, Mingi said, and San was happy for the rain and the darkness. Hearing the reproach in Mingi’s voice was enough; he didn’t need to see it in his eyes too. “You do. This denial thing is getting old, San-ah.”

“Okay, fine. Fine!” San shouted and wiped his eyes. Just rain. It was just rain. “I do care! I like him. Okay? And I was fucking terrified when Minho threatened him, more than I was when he threatened  _ me _ . And I was jealous in there and I keep watching his stupid Youtube videos and jerk off to thoughts of him and want him to be happy and—and I’ve only known him for what, a month? I can’t deal with that. I don’t want to feel any of this.”

“So, you what? Push him away, hyung? Force him to leave and then tell yourself that of course he did? Because that’s how it goes? Of course people leave if you force them to.”

San asked, voice low, half-hoping they wouldn’t hear, “Are you going to?”

“If you keep pushing then probably”, Mingi said, “but right now we’re staying. Here. You gonna come back or not?”

San shook his head, and neither of his friends tried to convince him. Jongho sighed loud enough to be heard over the rain, and San kept his eyes on the pavement while they walked back toward Yeosang’s house. He cleared his throat and dragged his numb legs to the bus stop. There was no point in going under the shelter, he was soaked anyway, so he waited in the rain, pretty convinced that he deserved it.

The apartment was quiet and dark. San dropped his dripping jacket on the floor and kicked off his shoes, not bothering with turning on the lights in the living room. He didn’t feel like taking a shower despite the shivers racking his body, so he walked straight to his room and closed the door behind himself, determined to avoid Yunho when he returned.

San got out of his wet clothes and crawled into bed. The sheets would warm up soon enough, but right now they felt cold too. He pulled the covers up to his chin and pushed one hand outside to be able to look at his phone.

No one had tried to reach him.

San needed to stop thinking, but his room was too quiet and his bed too empty. He opened Youtube. He wanted to fall asleep, and an angry gamer ranting about some random game San had never heard about would be the perfect distraction from his thoughts and his guilt.

The first recommended video was Wooyoung’s. San’s finger froze, and it began playing; no sound, just Wooyoung greeting the camera in his bedroom. San was only familiar with the room, the messy bed and the posters and the massive pile of law textbooks on the bedside table, through Wooyoung’s videos. He ignored the feeling of loss that followed the realization that he’d ruined any chance of actually visiting it and clicked on the video.

“ _ I visited a shooting range last week _ .” San supported his phone against the covers and pushed his hand between his cheek and his pillow, eyes on the screen. Wooyoung chuckled, and San let himself smile because nobody could see him anyway.

“ _ I sucked. So bad. Predictably. But I had a lot of fun. I wasn’t actually going to post it, but I thought… why not? I’ll tell you guys more about it if you stick with me until the end. A quick warning: I got a little distracted while filming. You’ll see why soon enough. _ ”

The video cut from Wooyoung’s bedroom to shaky footage of the street right outside San’s work. Wooyoung introduced the place, then the footage cut inside, to Wooyoung getting into the bulletproof vest and introducing San. San cringed at hearing his own voice.

“ _... just do what I say and you’ll be safe. _ ”

That had worked out well, hadn’t it? San struggled to squash his guilt. Wooyoung filmed himself mostly, and the range, but sometimes the camera caught San in the background, and he didn’t remember looking at Wooyoung like that. He didn’t remember smiling like that either.

Wooyoung had dulled the sound of the gunshot. San laughed with him at his poor first attempt, but his chuckle caught in his throat when Wooyoung put the camera down, pointed toward himself. On-screen, San helped Wooyoung aim properly. He’d been standing behind Wooyoung, but now he could see the pretty blush on Wooyoung’s cheeks and the deep breath he took when San’s hands closed around his.

Wooyoung missed the shot again, laughed and shooed San away. “ _ Now please film instead of distracting me _ .”

The San in the video did, turning his back on Wooyoung to pick up the camera, and the Wooyoung in the video was watching him with so much fondness in his eyes that San, lying alone in his bed, had to clench his jaw to stop the heavy feeling in his chest from becoming a ragged sob.

It was just Wooyoung for the rest of the footage, laughing his way through an edited version of his hour at the shooting range. Occasionally, San could hear his own voice talk off-screen, and too often chuckle at whatever it was that Wooyoung was doing. Or not doing. San seemed to find everything about Wooyoung endearing.

He still did.

The video cut back to Wooyoung in his bedroom. He had one knee pulled up to his chest, cheek resting on top of it as he smiled at the camera. He almost looked a little embarrassed.

“ _ I guess it’s pretty obvious why I wasn’t going to post this. Could I have been any more obvious about my feelings? Yeosangie—my best friend for those of you who have never watched my videos before—has told me to give up on that guy, like, a thousand times. But I’m stubborn; it’s my best and worst quality, really. Filming at the shooting range was just an excuse to get to spend time with him anyway. _ ” Wooyoung glanced down. He was blushing again. “ _ Anyway. I wasn’t going to post this, but I actually hung out with him yesterday—we go to the same university, and it was really nice. I wasn’t feeling great and he bought me a bagel and bubble tea. Bubble tea, you guys. You know how much I love bubble tea. _ ”

San had known. He’d remembered it from Wooyoung’s videos, just like he remembered what Wooyoung’s favorite color was, how he liked his eggs, and that he had broken his arm when he was thirteen trying to land a backflip. It hadn’t been intentional, but San had memorized everything he could about Wooyoung.

“ _ So I thought, maybe it’s not all hopeless. He’s watched my videos but I don’t know if he’ll ever watch this one. But… I don’t think that would be the worst thing ever. _ ”

San felt like the worst person ever. On the screen, Wooyoung laughed and pulled his fingers through his hair.

“ _ I think this is a good place to end. Hope you had fun watching me make a fool of myself in front of the guy I’ve been crushing on since I first saw him on campus a year ago. See you next time! _ ”

What?

“ _... a fool of myself in front of the guy I’ve been crushing on since I first saw him on campus a year ago. _ ”

A year ago? San stared at the screen, racking his brain for any memory of Wooyoung before Yunho’s party. He came up empty. But Wooyoung had been… had noticed him? San hadn’t thought it was possible to feel any worse than he already did.

But at the same time, his cheeks warmed at the thought of Wooyoung liking him for so long. San couldn’t understand it. Why would Wooyoung have cared about him before San began flirting with him? What was there to like past the compliments he could give? And a year was a long time to wait to fuck someone. Too long to wait for just that.

But if Wooyoung had been looking at San this whole time, surely he had noticed how San had looked at him? Even at the shooting range, when San had convinced himself that he was just interested in sex. Especially after they had slept together. San had bought him bubble tea. He’d never done that for anyone.

San couldn’t understand, and he felt worse the more he thought about it, so he took his phone and scrolled down to the comments. The top comment, with over two thousand likes:  _ You two are so cute. It’s obvious he’s head over heels for you too! _

It was obvious. It was so fucking obvious no matter what San had been trying to tell himself. He cared. He cared so much it was hard to breathe. He liked the comment and blinked furiously to get rid of the tears clouding his vision.

He hoped Wooyoung could breathe easily despite everything. This was better, anyway, in the end. San had let this whole thing go too far, and he needed to put a stop to it before it really hurt and choked them both completely.

He started typing. Wooyoung would never find his anyway among the thousands of comments left on the video. Being honest like this was the best San could do, and that was evidence enough that Wooyoung deserved someone better than him.

_ i’m sorry _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to compensate for the longer break between updates, this chapter is the longest by far.
> 
> i overcame my writing block by giving san a mental breakdown! fun times! :'D lemme know how u felt about it, please <3


	11. Chapter 11

“Wooyoung likes me.”

San pulled the trigger. Knowing that he had hit the target, he glanced at Mingi. Sometimes it was easier to talk to Mingi than Jongho; he was less judgemental. Mingi moved the protective gear off one ear, and San did the same.

“I noticed, yeah.”

“Why?” San switched the gun to get something to do and so that he wouldn’t have to look at Mingi. The shooting range had closed half an hour ago. It was just the two of them in the room, and San couldn’t hold in the question any longer. Wooyoung’s confession was the only thing he had been thinking about the past days.

“How should I know? You two clicked the first time you talked, at your place. Everyone could tell.”

“Yeah, but… He liked me before that. Like way before we ever talked. I don’t get it.”

Mingi shouldered him out of the way and picked up the gun San had loaded. “Not to get all mushy and stuff, but you’re a good guy. You’re ambitious and hard-working and a loyal friend to the two losers you have. And I guess he likes your stupid face too.”

“Asshole”, San said and pushed the earmuff back on when Mingi raised the gun with a grin. The headgear muted all sounds, and San didn’t react when Mingi fired. He watched the target, eyes unfocused and mind scattered, until Mingi lowered the gun and spoke again.

“So? Do you like him?”

San took the gun from Mingi and aimed. He did. Despite his efforts not to, he did, and looking back at it, had he even  _ really  _ tried? He wanted to blame Wooyoung; Wooyoung had never given him a chance to run away. But that non-date by the skatepark, that had been all San. And the kiss after Minho had confronted them, that had been San’s fault too. He liked Wooyoung. Too bad it didn’t matter.

San fired five shots and wondered if a single one hit the target.

San dragged his feet up the last steps and stopped to look around the top floor of the library. Since coming home from work, he had been waiting for Yunho and eventually texted him to ask where he was as the clock ticked past ten. He had debated whether he should just head to bed, but eventually pulled on a black hoodie and left to find him. He didn’t apologize often and now that he had made up his mind, he wanted to do it before he got cold feet.

He found Yunho by the floor-to-ceiling windows, sitting on the floor, shoes neatly placed next to his backpack. Yunho was wrapped up in one of the library’s blankets, face lit up by the light from his laptop that he had balanced on his thighs, an open book and a notebook on the floor next to him, a highlighter in his mouth.

San sank to the floor in front of him. He leaned against the pillar behind him, the way Yunho was leaning against one as well, and gazed outside while he searched for the right words to start the conversation.

The lamps along the pathways were already on. It wasn’t quite dark yet; the white university buildings, the sparse bushes and trees on the quad, the students still outside were all bathed in a blue haze. The horizon was bright with the city’s lights, and San wished he felt as calm as the world outside seemed.

“What’s up?”

San rested his head against the cold window as he turned to look at Yunho.

“What are you working on?” San asked instead of getting right to it. Absentmindedly, he scratched the light grey carpet that covered the floor.

“Just trying to keep up with my electives. I’ve been spending so much time at the Institute lately, I’ve kind of fallen back on my reading.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Yunho smiled and put his laptop down on the floor. San thought it kind of was as he’d stolen the liquid in the first place, but he didn’t protest. “So what did you need?”

“I wanted to apologize. For being a pain in the ass lately. Or all the time. I don’t really think you’re working for an evil corporation. Or well, I do, but I don’t think  _ you _ ’re evil. And I don’t think you’re lame.”

“You thought I was lame?”

“I mean… Yeah. You’re a biochem major.” San gestured to the book and the laptop on the floor, then rubbed his neck. He was doing a bad job at this apology thing. “But that’s not the point. I’m just—I know this whole thing is my fault and I’ve been an ass about it anyway, so… yeah. I’m sorry.”

San didn’t dare to look at Yunho. He could count on one hand the times he had apologized and actually meant it. It was easier not to. But even if San never talked to anyone from this new-found group of people he’d found himself hanging out with, especially not Wooyoung, he’d still be roommates with Yunho. And Yunho deserved this, San figured, even if his response was to tell San to go fuck himself.

“That’s… thank you. Apology accepted.” Yunho was smiling gently when San looked up to meet his eyes. “What, not what you expected me to say? San-ah, it’s fine. Friends fight, right? It’s not the end of the world.”

“We’re friends?”

“I’d like to think so. Aren’t we?”

San’s exhale turned into a chuckle. He dropped his head back against the window and only now, realized how tense his shoulders had been. “I guess so.”

Yunho nodded and picked up his laptop, placed it back on his thighs.

“You know, this could have waited until I got back home. I was only planning on staying until midnight.”

“I’d probably have chickened out by then. I don’t really do apologies or… or friends, I guess.” San chewed the inside of his cheek and fixed his eyes on the lights of one of the skyscrapers visible past the roof of the natural sciences building. He imagined it was the Institute. “I wanted to get this done before meeting Minho tomorrow.”

“Are you nervous?”

San shook his head, then shrugged. “I guess.”

“You won’t be alone. I’ll be right outside and Seonghwa is coming in with you. And the rest will be on standby too if anything goes wrong. And if he tries to kidnap you or something, you can just morph into a panther and eat his face, right?”

That surprised a laugh out of San. “Sounds like a bulletproof plan.”

“It’s probably not, but we’ll get through tomorrow and then figure out the rest once we have all the facts. Together.”

San was used to looking out for himself, and he had always been convinced he preferred it that way, but Yunho’s words made him feel calmer. Maybe having a few friends wasn’t so bad after all.

San stared up at the Institute, took a deep breath, and approached the entrance. It felt wrong, somehow, to be here like this: in broad daylight and invited. He had gotten so used to hiding already, to trying to stay unnoticed. He still didn’t want anything to do with the Institute, and yet here he was, walking straight through the front doors.

“Um, hi.” San stopped in front of the reception counter. “I’ve got a… meeting. With Choi Minho.”

The receptionist didn’t look up at him. “Name?”

San gave it, then waited. The receptionist typed quickly on her computer, and San shifted on his feet. Before he could wonder if he was being ignored, she slid a visitors pass across the counter.

“Thirty-second floor.” With that, she continued typing and San knew that he was being ignored. He took the pass with his right hand and slipped it around his neck.

When they’d come to the Institute for the tour, their guide had taken them straight through the lobby into the research facilities. Now, San stepped into the elevator and pressed the correct button. One of the walls was glass, and San could stare out at the city as he was taken above it. He caught sight of a bird, a blue parakeet among a flock of sparrows, and felt a little easier knowing that Yunho was close by.

The ride was too fast. San steeled himself as he left the elevator. He would get the information, lie through his teeth until he had enough to save everyone, and then leave all of this behind. He hoped it wouldn’t be too hard. Villains liked to monologue about their evil plans, right?

The thought surprised a smile out of San. Yunho wouldn’t have liked that thought. In the hallway, there were no windows, but San hoped Minho’s office had some. He hoped he’d be able to see Yunho on the other side of them.

Before he knocked on the door with Minho’s name on it, San opened his left hand. It had been difficult to ignore the feeling of tiny feet scratching his palm but now, the beetle was still. San raised his hand to look at it, and he could only assume Seonghwa looked back at him.

“Just stay out of sight”, San whispered. Seonghwa nodded by lowering his whole body once, then took flight. San knocked, and after hearing Minho’s voice, pushed the door open. The beetle flew in past him but San looked straight ahead.

The office was as imposing as the man sitting behind the concrete table. The windows behind him opened onto a view of a black skyscraper across the street. The leather couch to the side was black too, the decanter and the tumblers on the table next to it crystal. In his black suit, with silver-rimmed glasses on his nose and black hair slicked neatly back, Minho fit into the room like he was a part of the cold decor.

“San-ah”, he greeted, eyes fixed on him over the edge of his laptop, mouth curled into an unsettling smile. “Have a seat.”

San forced his shoulders to relax and approached the table. The two chairs on his side of the table matched the couch, but were small compared to the high-backed one Minho was occupying. San sat down and hated that he had to look up to meet Minho’s eyes.

“No puppy with you this time?”

“Didn’t think the building allowed animals inside.”

Minho laughed. “It doesn’t, no. But I suppose we should change that policy. Tell me how you managed to morph. I don’t think anyone would have expected a—”, Minho flicked open the file that had been placed neatly next to his laptop and glanced at it, “—business major to crack the formula our scientists have been developing for years.”

No skirting around the issue, then. San clenched his jaw.

“I didn’t. It was a mistake.”

Minho hummed. “To be frank, that’s what I expected. Still, I cannot let this opportunity go. I want to offer you a job.”

San realized how naive it had been of him to expect that Minho would give him a single chance to control the conversation.

“What?” So much for his prepared questions.

“You are one of a kind, aren’t you? There’s no limit to the applications of this. If we manage to replicate this and control protein mutation, well, we could change the world. Or rather, sell the information to the highest bidder to do with as they will. I imagine everyone would want a piece of what we could offer. As I said: the applications are limitless.”

San could barely wrap his head around the implications. He had only thought of morphing as it was right now; morphing into an animal for fun. But Minho was right; controlling protein mutation would effectively allow humans to design humanity as they pleased. Both for the better and for the worse.

Somehow, it always seemed the people who wanted the latter were those with the most money.

“So you don’t want to offer me a job. You want to turn me into a lab rat.”

“Figuratively, yes. Possibly literally as well.” Minho opened a drawer under his desk and picked up another folder that he tossed in front of San. “There are some ethical restrictions we need to circumvent and corporate espionage is a constant bother, hence the job offer. My personal assistant, on-call twenty-four hours in the day, seven days a week. No termination clause. Decent pay. Of course, you would have to sign a non-disclosure agreement and some other paperwork. It’s all in there.”

San didn’t touch the folder.

“I’m not working for you.”

Minho remained infuriatingly calm, one corner of his mouth quirked up into a smile. He glanced at his laptop, then picked up the open folder on the table. He placed the topmost paper to the side, and San managed to make out his own name on top of it, followed by what was most likely everything else Minho knew about him. There was no blank space left on the paper.

“Unfortunately, I cannot offer you any other choice but to accept. Unless, of course, you aren't one of a kind. I might be inclined to let you go back to your life as you wish to have it if you were to help me find someone else to take your place. It is awfully hard to get a job in this economy. Maybe someone else would be more inclined to accept my offer?”

San shook his head. He wasn’t going to let Minho sink his claws into anyone else. He needed to find a third option. There was no way Minho could actually force him into this. He really hoped there wasn’t.

Again, Minho hummed. “Are you certain? No one else? What about him?”

From the folder, Minho picked out a photograph. San schooled his face knowing that he was being scrutinized when Minho laid it onto the table in front of him. Yunho. The picture was taken outside their apartment.

“That’s just my roommate.”

“Yes. He also works here. Jeong Yunho.”

“He doesn’t know anything. I stole the vial with the stuff.”

“Yes. You were caught on camera doing so.” San glanced up in surprise. Minho’s expression didn’t change. “What about them? Wouldn’t you share this with your oldest friends?”

A picture of Jongho and one of Mingi, both taken on campus. San shook his head. He didn’t dare to look at Minho again, convinced that he would be able to tell how hard San’s heart was pounding. Minho must know, he knew and he was just toying with San, he knew about all of them—

The next picture was of Soyeon in front of the gun range. Minho placed a picture of Jooheon on top of it, same location, and this time San fought to control his relief. Minho didn’t know, at least not for sure. These were just all the people in San’s life. His friends.

“None of them know”, San said with all the conviction he could muster and leaned back in his chair. “It’s just me.”

Minho hummed, then considered his last picture before pushing it across the table.

“What about him?”

San recognized the street from Wooyoung’s videos. It was right by his house. Wooyoung was talking on the phone in the picture, smiling. San’s breathing hitched, and he felt the color draining from his face. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Minho’s smile widen.

“Let me guess. He’s just your boyfriend. He doesn’t know anything.”

“Not my boyfriend.”

“Oh? I thought you would have gotten that far since he allows you to put a leash on him.” Another picture, this one of San, taken across the street from the Institute. There was a puppy sitting at his feet. San couldn’t tear his eyes away from the picture.

“That’s not…”

“There’s no use lying to me, San-ah. I know. Now… I want to show you something else before I ask you to reconsider my offer. I hope this will convince you to accept it.”

San waited with bated breath, heart thundering, as Minho turned the laptop around to face him. First, San thought he was looking at a video but he quickly realized it was live footage. On the screen, a small cage in a nondescript room, and inside the cage, a shivering puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of wooyoung in this chapter :( he was otherwise occupied lmao
> 
> hope u enjoyed the cliffhanger. leave a comment if u want to motivate me to finish the next chapter quickly ✌️
> 
> also, i tweet abt this fic when i'm struggling/feeling good abt it/ready to update, so make sure to follow me [here](https://twitter.com/thetamburlaine1) to stay on top of things! (warning for multi behavior)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on skyscrapers:
> 
> San realized he likes Wooyoung and handled that revelation by getting angry and pushing him away. To figure out what the Institute knows, San agreed to meet with Minho. Minho offered San a job as a test subject, and when San refused, Minho revealed he had kidnapped a certain little puppy.
> 
> (and that's what u missed on ᵍˡᵉᵉ)

“I heard he tried to bite one of my men”, Minho said lightly, as if he wasn’t talking about Wooyoung, as if he didn’t have Wooyoung in a cage, as if San wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack right in front of him. “They should have brought a muzzle but admittedly, no one expected such a small thing to cause so much trouble.”

“You can’t—You have to let him go. You can’t just kidnap someone.”

Minho hummed and interlaced his fingers in feigned consideration under his chin.

“And yet, it is exactly what I have done. If anyone saw anything, they saw a man picking up a stray puppy. I could make…” Minho glanced at his papers again, “Jung Wooyoung disappear forever. Just like that.”

San clenched his jaw and tore his eyes from the screen to fix them on Minho.

“If you know he can morph too, why don’t you want him to become your test subject? Offer this ‘job’ to him?”

“He has a family that cares about him. They would ask too many questions, interfere if their son ever got hurt. I could make the puppy disappear without getting caught, but I cannot experiment on the human for the rest of his life as easily. You on the other hand… No one would miss you.”

San would have ripped the damned paper from Minho’s hands if he could have forced himself to move. He was convinced Minho kept looking at it just to irritate him and show off just how much he knew. San had gotten the memo already: Minho knew everything about him.

“After the orphanages and foster care families, I don’t imagine what we’ll do to you will feel as… shocking. I’m sure you can handle it much better than your boyfriend could. Unless, of course, you don’t care about him and would have me rather convince him?”

“Don’t touch him.”

Minho smiled and tapped the folder in front of San. “Then sign the papers, San-ah. My men will drop him off where they found him and he never has to know a thing.”

“I…” San stared at the folder. He had promised Wooyoung that Minho wouldn’t touch him again. Right after, he had freaked out over his desperate need to protect Wooyoung, pushed him away, and shouted at him when that didn’t work. And now Minho had Wooyoung locked in a cage somewhere, threatening to kill him if San didn’t sign away his own independence in return.

San hadn’t wanted to admit to his feelings for Wooyoung, terrified of being left and then finding that the independence he had worked so hard for wasn’t enough for him anymore. Now, San was asked to give up that independence anyway. And he wouldn’t be getting Wooyoung’s love in return.

It wasn’t really a choice. San knew it, and Minho knew it too.

“Okay. I’ll sign.”

Minho’s lips curled into a satisfied smile. He offered a ballpoint pen toward San, and San took it without looking at him. He flipped open the folder and signed the contract, then the NDA, and on every other dotted line he could find. He didn’t read through the paperwork; he didn’t want to know how much of himself he was signing away.

“Well done. Now, since this is a full-time job, I’m expecting you to quit your studies. I will get you a… slightly altered copy of the employment contract to show in case you need to. It would be easiest if you moved as well. We will provide housing, of course. Somewhere close by and without nosy roommates. You have until the end of the week. We’ll keep your boyfriend as insurance until then.”

San jumped to his feet, furious with fear instead of frozen by it.

“No, you promised to let him go.”

“And I’ll keep that promise.” Minho closed the folder with the contract, unperturbed by San’s outburst, and put it in the drawer under the desk. “Once I’ve got you firmly in our custody. Wooyoung won’t be hurt. He’ll just have to stay a puppy for a few days. There are no side effects to that, I hope?”

San didn’t know. Minho didn’t care about his lack of an answer.

“His parents will miss him”, San tried.

“I will deal with that, don’t worry yourself with the details. The faster you fulfill your end of the deal, the faster he’s free. Now, I have other matters to tend to today. I hope to be hearing from you soon.”

San wanted to protest, wanted to demand Wooyoung’s release, but Minho wasn’t looking at him any longer, and San’s mouth felt too dry to form words anyway. He left the office without a glance back.

He had completely forgotten about Seonghwa until he felt the beetle sink its fangs into his hand. He almost shook him off before his brain connected the dots. There was no one in the elevator to stare at him when he raised his hand to eye-level and spoke to the beetle.

“You need to tell the others. I’m going to save Wooyoung.”

The elevator reached the lobby before Seonghwa could protest, and he was a beetle anyway so he couldn’t have said anything if he’d tried. San closed him inside a loose fist once again and marched straight outside. Once on the street, he shook his hand until Seonghwa took flight, then ran to the metro station.

He had just lunged through closing doors into the train when his phone started ringing. He stared at the map above the doors and picked up.

“ _ Where do you think you’re going? _ ” Jongho demanded, then there was shuffling and indistinct arguing as the phone switched hands. Yeosang won the scuffle on the other side.

“ _ Seonghwa says they have Wooyoung. If anything happens to him it’s all your fault. I’ve been telling him you're bad news forever but he never listens but I swear if— _ ”

“I know, I know! Just tell me what stop I need to get off at to get to Wooyoung’s house. I’m going to find him.”

Silence, then, “You better. I’ll send you the directions.”

San hung up before anyone else could grab the phone and scold him. Within a minute, he got a message with Wooyoung’s address. Minho hadn’t said it, but the picture had been taken there, and San’s best guess was that he had been kidnapped right after leaving his house in the morning. His parents would think he was on campus and wouldn’t start suspecting anything for a while.

The metro ride lasted too long, the bus that took him the last bit even longer. At least the suburbs were relatively empty this time of the day with all the adults at work and the children at school. Still, San didn’t care if anyone saw him when he morphed into his panther, right in the middle of the street. His clothes ripped as his body changed, and the sound was similar to the angry growl San felt building in his chest.

After their break-in to the zoo, Mingi had done the research on their animals. He had told San that his panther was in fact a jaguar: panther was just what the black variations of jaguars and leopards were called. Mingi had been excited. According to him, jaguars were better than leopards when it came to big black cats: they weren’t as fast or agile as leopards, but they were bigger, stronger, and had a better sense of smell. San had liked the part about their strength, ignored the rest, but right now he found himself the most grateful for the latter.

For the first time, his first moments after morphing weren’t spent fighting the panther’s instincts. Human or not, San’s whole being was focused on Wooyoung. As a panther, it was easier to ignore how far-fetched this plan was.

He ran. The suburbs were alive with sounds and smells: rumbling engines and freshly-cut grass; creaking swings and soap from a driveway where someone had washed their car; the thud of his paws on the asphalt and traces of dogs, all but the one he was looking for.

San stopped in front of Wooyoung’s house. A steel gate blocked the driveway which curved uphill and disappeared behind a cedar hedge. Over it, San could see the top floor’s wide windows, no lights on inside. He couldn’t hear anyone either, but when he lowered his nose to the ground, he could smell Wooyoung.

It should have been embarrassing, how easy it was for him to recognize the scent, but San ignored the feeling and followed the traces of Wooyoung’s steps back toward the metro station.

A smaller road branched off from the street San was walking down, and Wooyoung’s scent turned along with it. A growl of satisfaction rumbled in San’s chest as the smell grew stronger. He hunched down and scratched underneath the hedge lining the road. His claws caught on a canvas bag. Inside it, Wooyoung’s clothes.

San roared in frustration, indifferent to anyone hearing.

But the clothes meant that Wooyoung had morphed here. San nudged the bag back underneath the hedge and lowered his nose back to the ground. Dogs smelled annoying, but San fought his instincts and followed the scent anyway. It was stronger than Wooyoung’s had been, and San padded quickly up the hill, then turned right at the intersection.

Just before he reached the park he assumed Wooyoung had been heading to, the smell disappeared. In its place, black marks left by tires and the rancid smell of something industrial. It made San’s fur stand on edge, but at least it was laughably easy to follow. Maybe his plan wasn’t the worst.

He ran for what felt like an hour but probably was just a half, following the smell, past screeching cars and pointing people. At some point, he heard sirens closing in. He didn’t stop and soon enough, the piercing sounds faded and got lost in the incessant cacophony of the city. San didn’t feel afraid, not even cautious, for the moment the apex predator of his territory.

The oily smell led him to a construction site. He stopped on the pavement just outside the chain-link fence and crouched in the shadow of an electrical box. The massive sign hanging on the fence next to the closed gate illustrated what the finished skyscraper would look like.

There was no one moving among the containers, the piles of beams the size of sequoia trees, and the towering cranes. In the middle of the lot, the skyscraper was still too. The first floors of the building were for parking, and then glass walls lined the structure, the outside finished almost halfway to the top. After that, bare beams and windswept platforms and a view to die for.

San considered crawling under the gate, and maybe if he had been a leopard he would have fit but for a panther, the easiest way was over. He padded further from the gate before he launched himself into the air and curled his claws around the chain-link fence. It rattled too loudly. With a grunt, San wrenched himself upward and over, landing on the other side with grace.

He didn’t hesitate, afraid someone had heard him, and ran through the lot, seeking cover when he could, half-regretting that he hadn’t waited until the sun went down and the darkness would have made him wholly invisible; knowing that he couldn’t have waited a second longer while Wooyoung was in danger and discomfort.

The first floor of the garage was empty. San ran up to the second and caught sight of a few vans with corporate logos on their sides but no people. On the third and last parking floor, an unmarked van was parked right next to an elevator door. Still no sign of humans, but when San sniffed the ground between the van and the elevator, past the smell of asphalt and whatever rancid chemicals the plot seemed drenched in, he could smell people and faintly, a dog.

San stood still and wrestled back control. While he had run— _ hunted _ —, it had been easier to let the animal’s instincts take over and just keep enough of himself to remember their objective. But now that he was here, he needed to think; he needed a plan. Using the elevator was out of the question: they would see him coming, and he would have to turn back into a human which would make him more vulnerable but also allow the fear back.

It wasn’t in a panther’s nature to be afraid, and San hadn’t quite realized how afraid he always was until the feeling was gone. He was in no hurry to get it back.

With his mind set, San headed for the stairs. The steps were there, but everything else was unfinished: no railings, no signs for emergency exits, no smooth tile over the concrete. San padded up up up, nose and ears perked for anything that would let him know he was on the right floor.

He heard the people first. Two voices, both male, and as he left the stairway and crept into a barren hallway, soft whining. San stifled a growl, bared his teeth, and continued closer.

“Should we get him a bone or something?”

A chair scraping against the floor. “What?”

“So that he shuts up. Or do you think he needs a walk?” Clothes rustling nervously.

“He’s not a real dog, you fucking idiot. If you take him out he’ll turn into a human and run off. Just stay where you are and ignore him.”

More shifting. “I can’t help it, man. He’s got those sad puppy eyes. I kind of feel bad.”

“I’ll push you off the top floor if  _ you  _ don’t shut the fuck up.”

San stilled outside the doorway. Everything echoed in the empty rooms, but at least the outer walls were finished, though San might have preferred the wind over the dust floating in the air that was making his whiskers twitch.

Wooyoung was still whining.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Harsh steps. “Shut up!” Something metallic— _ the cage _ —clanking, kicked, and a distraught yelp.

San didn’t know whether it was the panther’s instincts or his own emotions that controlled him; that made him forget about care and a plan and secrecy. Maybe it was both. He abandoned his hiding place and charged through the open doorway.

The room was barren but for the two men, two chairs, and a video camera on a tripod pointed at a small cage. The men, one of whom had been sitting and the other standing next to the cage, turned toward him. Their expressions shifted from shock to fear. The one standing, the one who had kicked the cage, reached for his gun first so San leaped toward him.

His claws dug into the man’s chest as they hit the floor, the man on his back, San on top of him. San didn’t stifle his roar this time. The gun had fallen out of the man’s grasp, and San kicked it further away before focusing on the other man, the one who had wanted to take Wooyoung on a walk.

He was aiming his gun at San. His mouth was pressed into a tight line, but his hands were shaking. San growled and stalked toward him, pleased when the man took a step back. The man swallowed and his hand, the one with the finger on the trigger, tightened its grip. San leaped to the side and the bullet ricocheted off the ground, denting it right where San had stood a second earlier.

San didn’t give him the chance to aim again. He lunged toward him and closed his jaw around the man’s arm. Warm blood filled San’s mouth as he felt bones break, and the man’s scream was almost as loud as the rushing in San’s ears. He let go and let the man stumble out of the room, shouting for his friend who had already reached the elevator.

San waited until he couldn’t hear them longer; panting from the exertion but otherwise motionless. A predator waiting to see if its prey was foolish enough to return. Wooyoung was quiet too, still and staring at San between the bars.

When San walked toward him, the puppy cowered.

He didn’t want to morph back yet; lose his heightened senses, his strength, his courage, but he didn’t want Wooyoung to be afraid either. San closed his eyes and forced his mind to calm down and focus. Soon, the world became duller and the floor felt cold underneath his hands. San couldn’t hear anything anymore, and the only thing he could smell was the dust in the air.

He opened his eyes and got to his feet, barely noticing that he was naked. He kneeled by the cage and to his relief, found that the cage didn’t have a lock, just a hatch. Enough to keep a dog locked in. San opened the door and shuffled back.

Wooyoung stumbled out of the cage and immediately, morphed back into a human.

“What the fuck”, he got out between pained gasps for air. He remained on all fours, head hanging low, still shivering. Once he got his breathing under control, the questions spilled out. “Who were those people? Did they work for Minho? Why would they want me?”

He sat back on his haunches and rubbed his face. “Do I look weird? I feel weird. Remind me to tell Yunho that we probably shouldn’t be morphed for this long. Fuck, I really want chocolate now. I think that’s the dog talking. I mean I  _ love _ chocolate too so maybe not but I’ve been on a diet so—”

San kissed Wooyoung, cut him off in the middle of his sentence without a second thought. He held Wooyoung’s head in his hands, held him close and held him  _ there _ . When Wooyoung gasped, San licked into his mouth. Distantly, he realized he was the one shaking now; because of the loss of adrenaline and the loss of his fear, but mostly because of all-consuming relief.

Wooyoung gripped his wrists and pulled away, and San blinked his eyes open to meet Wooyoung’s.

Wooyoung licked his lips, swallowed. His voice was soft and uncharacteristically hesitant when he said, “You’re kinda confusing me here. Not that I don’t appreciate you saving me and stuff but if you’re just going to yell at me and push me away later then I really don’t think it’s fair of you to kiss me.”

“I won’t.” San slipped his hands free from Wooyoung’s grasp and intertwined their fingers instead. “I won’t push you away anymore. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the things I said and for trying to push you away and I… I get that it’s a shitty excuse but I was afraid.”

Wooyoung frowned. “Of what? Of me? Why? I’m as scary as a… as a puppy. Most of the time at least.”

“Not you.” San hesitated and wished he was braver. He hadn’t given a second thought to running to this place or attacking two armed men. Why was confessing so much harder? “I was—I am scared of how much I like you.”

“Well, um, I’m not. I was actually scared of the opposite.”

Wooyoung’s smile eased both San’s shaking hands and nervous heart.

“Yeah”, San exhaled. “I know. I’m sorry.”

This time, Wooyoung leaned in for the kiss. It was gentle this time, and when they parted, they were both smiling.

San helped Wooyoung to his feet. Wooyoung grimaced and looked around the room, eyes jumping from the cage to the video camera and the tripod that had been knocked over in the scuffle. San didn’t let go of his hand. Mindful of their state of undress, he kept his gaze respectfully on Wooyoung’s face even when Wooyoung rubbed his stomach.

“Actually, I think I’m craving chocolate because I’m really hungry. And it’s getting cold here. Can we go? Before they come back. Did you bring any clothes with you?”

San had not. He hadn’t thought about what he would do when he found Wooyoung, let alone what they’d do after he did. They couldn’t head home like this. For the first time, San wished he had a less conspicuous animal to morph into.

A panther would draw as much attention as two naked boys walking down the street, but a panther would have better odds of outrunning anyone who tried to follow.

“We need to morph. I need you to turn back so that I can pick you up.”

Wooyoung stared at him with wide eyes. “Like a cub? You’re going to put your teeth around my neck? Nope, that’s not happening. I saw what those teeth can do and I’d rather not end up dead.”

“Wooyoung-ah, please.”

Wooyoung stared at him, “Where are we even going to go? Won’t those guys… what if they find us?”

San had already brought his panther to mind, teeth itching and ready to morph, but Wooyoung’s question stopped him. Wooyoung had a point. San opened his mouth, then closed it without speaking. He really hadn’t thought this through.

Wooyoung said, “Maybe I should call Yeosang. Or you should. I don’t have a phone.”

“Me neither. I dropped everything to come get you.”

Wooyoung stared at San, and San stared back. Unexpectedly, Wooyoung burst into laughter, tilting over from the force of it and grabbing San’s shoulder to steady himself. San glanced down at the hand on his bare skin and smiled. His cheeks felt warm, as did his chest, and this time he had nothing but Wooyoung to blame it on.

“Alright”, Wooyoung said and wiped his eyes, “I guess we just morph and make a run for it, then?”

“I think we could make it to Jongho and Mingi’s. They don’t live that far from here, and if we’re careful we could make it without being seen. We’ll get clothes and figure out where to go next.”

San already had an idea for where they could hide and even protect themselves in case someone came looking for them. He would rather not have gone to Mingi and Jongho’s in the first place in case they were being followed, but there was no chance they’d make it through Myeongdong morphed without getting caught. Their best plan, which still wasn’t very good, was going to his friends’ place first, then the shooting range.

“Let’s get going”, San said and closed his eyes to focus on his panther, “I’ll carry you first, when we get closer you can go ahead and check that the roads are empty.”

“Fine”, Wooyoung huffed. San opened one eye to catch his petulant pout. “But if you accidentally bite me to death, Yeosang will kill you.”

“Undoubtedly”, San could already feel his canines growing, “Now, hurry. We should’ve been out of here already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ᶦ'ᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ
> 
> can u believe most of this was written in october (￣ ￣|||) the end of the year hit hard huh.
> 
> i hope someone is still reading this. i'll get the next chapter(s) out faster, promise

**Author's Note:**

> i try to update on sundays (my sunday so it might be ur saturday or monday) but i'm not promising anything. u can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/thetamburlaine1) for updates and stuff.


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